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Newspaper Page Text
'A rich lawyer, after dinner the
other night, went into his den for
a smoke. He took down from his
pipe-rack Epsuperb meerschaum, a
birthday present from his wife.
But, alas! as he started to fill the
pipe it came apart in his hands.
The bowl had been broken in two
and then carelessly stuck to
gether. With loud growls of rage the
lawyer rushed from his den and
demanded to know who had brok
en his new meerschaum. His only
son, a boy of 11, spoke up bravely:
"Father," he said, "I cannot tell
a lie. I did it."
The lawyer praised the lad's ve
racity, but that night on his pol
io w he growled and went on ter
ribly about the incident.
"Heaven help me," he said. "It
had been my life& dearest wish to
rear Up my son td my own profes
sion, but now alas alas1!"
"How often do you kill a per
son on your railroad?"
"Only oilce, madam."
T. R-'S TEETH. """
Who has the most famdus teeth
in the world?
Everybody answer up quick:
Now prepare for a shock. Col.
Roosevelt is NOT taking good
care of his teeth. A writer was m
conversation with him recently
and noticed that there was
BLACK TARTAR on those fine,
big teeth, and rust all along the
upper and lower lines.
Col. Roosevelt has a full right
to treat his teeth as he wishes, but
we are sorry that he is neglecting
The point we wish to make is
that, when the most famous teeth
in the world are neglected, it is no
wonder that the average man will
fail to care for his obscure teeth.
Disease breeds from neglected
teeth. Clean, white teeth are not
only a comfort to the possessor,
but.a delight to his friends.
Don't let T. R. discourage you !
Keep your teeth clean in the name
of HEALTH, COMFORT and
Wanted Money's Worth.
"No use talkin'," said the farm
er mournfully to the conductor of
the omnibus, "Chicago hain't the
town it used to be."
"Why, what's the matter with!
"I've been here three days, and
nobody has tried to work the con
fidence trick on me, or tried to
snatch my watch, an' I've got my
right change back every time. I
fell as if I'd had my trip for noth-
-- - -ffriMiil