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Newspaper Page Text
'TWAS THE CASE.
A 'bus driver and a conductor
had had a quarrel and the latter
having been hit on the nose went
to court about it.
-Judge What is your profes
sion?" Prisoner A 'bus driver.
Judge You mean a driver of
horses attached thereto.
Prisoner Yes, your honor. I'm
the horse driver,
Judge Did you hit this man
on the face?
Prisoner No, your honor, I,
Judge You are charged here
-with hitting this man on the face.
Did you or did not hot? .
Prisoner I did not.
Judge What did you do then ?
Prisoner-rr-I hit him on the
C( THE ptfeSiUCNT
? ) OFTHe GAS I fc
- I COMPANY. jkWQL
nasal organ attached thereto.-
TOO CLEVER. '
The occasion was a choice little
tea party on the lawn, and the
hostess was beaming and busy
among her guests.
" "Yes," she remarked, "my little
girl is very clever. She can imi
tate almost anyone."
"She can, my dear," echoed the
host delightedly. "Come. Alice,
show what you can do. Pretend
to be the housemaid."
The little girl, eagerly enough,
came forward and bowed to one
of the guests.
"Will you take some more tea,
madam?" she asked politely
Then sheturned to another guest:
"May I move your chair, mad
am? The sunlight is very strong."
At this the guests were exceed
ingly interested and asked for
Backing away from her father,
Alice exclaimed, in a terrified
"Sir, let me go! Don't touch"
me, sir! Give you a kiss, indeed!
Supposing the missus was to hear
Then the clever little darling
was wafted away suddenly. Answers.
Mistress Why, Elizabeth, you
surely-don't consider these win
dows washed ! Elizabeth I
washed them nicely on the inside
mum, so as ye can look out, but I
intentionally left them a little dir
ty on the outside, so them tire
some Jones children next door
j couldn't look, in.