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Newspaper Page Text
mumimr i wiyppip
Lost, stolen, or strayed! For
one whole hour his mother had
neither seen nor heard little Tom
my. Absence on the young gen
tleman's part was so unusual, that
his fond parent became anxious
She questioned little Ethel, but
that young lady only shook her
curls. She hadn't seen Tommy
for ages. Then cook was sent
for, and that imposing personage
came bustling in, red, heated, and
"Oh, mum, mum!" she began
"Good gracious cook," cried
the mistress, "whatever's happen
ed? Where's Master Tommy?
.Where is the sweet cherub? Tell
me the worst!"
And the cook remarked:
"Please'm, Master Tommy's
locked himself in 'the cupboard
with the cakes and pies, and he
says he's going on eatin' until
he's too ill to be whipped!"
But mother thought otherwise.
Two women who had not seen
each other for many years met
unexpectedly in the street. "How
do you do?" exclaimed, one ef
fusively. "Now, this is delight
ful !" said the other, who was the
older. "You haven't seen me for
eleven years, and .yet you knew
me at once. I cannot have
changed so dreadfully in. all that
time. It flattens me." "Oh, I rec
ognized your bonnet!" said the
SiBe, mss aiUPiciit.es t
TIME PASSES SVIFTr'
Like on er vin&s, '
op a cove.. 4tf,
NO VONOCR MEN GO
NO VONOCR MEN GO ir
" BuGHouse-ofa?,' ,
"Of 'course I am wrong! I am
always In the wrong, am I not?"
exclaimed an irate husband dur
ing an altercation with his wife.
''No, dear' was the irritatingly
sweet answer, "not always." "Not
always!"' echoed her husband.
".Why, whenever did you allow
that I was right?" "Last week,
dear, when you admitted you
were .wrong-.. I. said you were
right then in confessing- it.''
- . -0-7-0
Doctor Now', there is a very
simple remedy for this er re
curring thirst-Whenever you feel
Hint vnu want a drink of whisky
just eat an apple eat an apple.
Patient -but ei tancy eat
jng fifty or sixty apples a day.
am BY Your- A