HER MASTER'S VOICE
Business had detained the mas
ter of the house. Strictly speak
ing, it was three o'clock" in the
morning as he softly crept up the
stairs, and everything was calm
Carefully and noiseless he
opened the door of his bedroom,
and crossed the threshold with
the grace of an Indian on the
Unfortunately, however, the
family cat was enjoying a well.
earned rest on the rug by the bed
side, and the -master of the house
elected, under a misapprehension,
to deposit the -weight of his foot
upon the feline's caudal append
age. Naturally, the feline uttered a
shrill and noisome complaint,
piercing sounds that awakened
the mistress of the house. This
good lady sat 'up in bed, perturb
ed, but not at a loss.
"Frederic," she murmured,
"don't you think it a. trifle late to
"be singing? The neighbors
might complain, you know!"
Then Frederic nimbly ejected
the musical mouser, and deftly
slid between the sheets.
-Two young anglers were ex
hibiting with great satisfaction
the results of a day's sport when
a young woman asked demurely:
"Fish go in schools, do-they not?"
"I believe they do," .said one;
"but why do you ask?" "Oh,
nothing, only I was just thinking
that you must have broken up an
' v . 1 I
if - " '- fp4
v SOME SPORTSMAN
A sportsman, with talking
boots and chessboard stockings,
strode into a poulterer's with the
air of a man who. knows business
is business, and- said:
"I want a brace of nice plump
"Sorry, but I haven't one left,
sir," said the shopman.
"Dear, dear, my wife 1'
"Oh, excuse me, sir," broke inij; i
the shopman "but-here are soinx
very nne sausages i can mgniy'.
recommend. Lam sure your wife
would be delighted with them,"
"Sausages be blowed l" said the
wquld-be pheasant purchaser.
"How can I go and tell my wife I
shot a, brace .of, sausages !"
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