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Newspaper Page Text
tome to keep themselves jn cig
arettes. Since Wilks was put in jail, he
has sent about 207 pitiful pleas
to his wife, asking; her ttt pay her
income tax. To each his wife has
made the same reply:
"I'll pay the tax when I get a
vote' ' .
Wilks. also has appealed to the
authorities, asking why he should
be held in jail for his wife's short
comings. The authorities appar
ently have a Sense of humor, be
cause their answer has been:
"Aren't you the head of the
The Women's Social and Poli
tical Union has taken the thing
up, and decided to urge all suf
fragettes with penniless husbands
to do the same thfng.
And meantime, Wilks is the
A QUEER AUCTION
Fairbury, Neb., Sept. 21.
There's going to be some inter
esting auction near here Monday.
Uncle Sam will be the auc
tioneer, and he will ha,ve to dis
pose of a few healthy, full-grown
lions, tigers, elephants, giraffes,
carnels and various bther wild
Uncle Sam acqujre'd ' the men
agerie when he seized a circus for
unpaid debts. Since then, Uncle
Sam's officials have been so wor
ried over it, that they would have
liked to give the darn thing away.
Ihe proprietor of the circus
said he was glad to have it at
tached, when the government of
ficers served the paperst He said
he hadn't made any .money out of
it for over a year, and besides .the
animals were getting -out of hand.
" Then the government officersA'
tried to bribe the animal trainersS
to stay with the circus, but the"
trainers' said nix, and glooiri"?
wrapped itself around the officers
The gloom stayed, too. It mayCL
be easy to handle, a lot of lions J
and tigers and elephants whenl
you know how, but it's all-firedr2
difficult to know how, as thdse
officers will testify. ft
o o Z
POINTERS FOR COPS ID
Here are a few, rules which'a
may be helpful to Chicago copsD
when they are holding up hold-1
up men: . i
Don't let the hold-up manK
know you' are a cop. He may pull
Don't slap him on the wrist.
He may get peeved and brush hi
cigarette ashes on you. .
Hand your watch and bankroll
to the bartender before engagihg
in conversation with energetics
thieves in a saloon.
Before showing your big star,
tell the bartender which hospital -you
prefer and phone for an am-
Don't keep secrets to yourself.
Tell 'em to McWeeny.
If the crodk gets rough telP
him if he doesn't behave like a
perfect lady you'll tell Andy"
Lawrence .on him.
Driees I should sav that the ,
two keys to success are luck anctJ
pluck. Briggs Certainly. Luck
in finding someone to pluck "