Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
A farmer, driving along a coun
try road, was rudely accosted by
a young man thus: "Hello, farm
er! Give me a lift to Hightown,
will you? I might as well ride
with you as walk." "So-the young
man climbed up and beguiled the
way with lively chatter. After a
few miles had been traveled he
said: "It's quite a distance to
Hightown, isn't it? It's a good
thing for me that I met you." "It
is quite a distance," answered the
farmer. After a few more miles
the young man asked: "I say,
farmer, how far is it to Hightown
exactly?" "Well' replied the
farmer, "keeping right on the
way we're going now, I should
say it would be about twenty
four thousand miles or so ; but, if
you were to get out and walk
back, it 'wouldn't be very much
more than ten miles."
ITS PROPER FATE
A lady went to a matinee wear
ing a hat with enormous plumes,
and the man sitting behind her
could not see even the stage.
"Pardon me, madam," said he at
length, "I cannot see the stage at
all!" There was no answer. "Ex
cuse me," continued the man,
"will you kindly remove your
hat?" The hat remained in its
.place. "Madam," exclaimed the
persistent man sternly, "if you do
not remove your hat at once I'll
o o -
A prisoner on his trial, in an
swer to the charge, pleaded "Not
VOT HAf S " ' 2 ,
' J I
aHp LfL Mil I i
guilty." The jury found the.
pbarfre oroved. and in passine
sentence the iudere said, "Ye're!
not only guilty, but ye come here
and tell lies, saying ye re not. i
The prisoner who followed next
for trial was doubtless influenced
hv this, and suooosed it would be.
wpII inr him to take another'
course, so he pleaded "Guilty' In
an almost self-satished voice.
"Oh, ye're guilty, are ye," sai
the judge, and come nere to Bra
about it, do ye?"
Old Gent What do you we
Ronthlack 'Cos I outs such
shiny shine on gentlemen's shoes
that it hurts me eyes.