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Newspaper Page Text
By Berton Braley.
I never can figure my bank ac
I'm always in trouble and always
And just when I think I have lots
to go on
The bank sends a notice -"account
I don't understand it; I fuss and I
But I can't make the bank people
"get me," you bet. r
They point to their figures, and I
Although I can't see any reasons
I'm sure I am right in the balance
But they make me come through
when they ask, just the sahie,
And they smile in a way conde
scending and bland
"When I say that their system I
For this is the puzzle my brain
cells to v6x
Why doesn't niy money keep pace
with my checks !
An English clergyman turned
to a Scotsman and asked him:
"What would you be if yoii
were not a Scot?"
The Scotsman said: "Why, an
Englishman, of course."
- Then the clergyman turned to
the gentleman from Iceland and
"And what would you be were!
you not an-Irishman?"
The man thought for a moment
"I'd be ashamed of meself I"
IT ISS TOO BAD I CANNOT H4F I
Nice side viskcks t-ixe azjoup
HA5S. HITOU3M" VI3KERS
v Ute Adolf's. Lire. y
Mary, a tactful child of six;
who had been taught to be con-,
siderate of the feelings of others,
was taken to see Mrs. Brown's
new baby, a pitiful mite, with the
pathetic look of all thin babies.
The girl gazed at it silently until
Mrs. Brown said: "Now, 'Mary, 1
what do you think of him? Thetf
the little visitor, after some hesi
tation, replied, with an attempt
at a smile r Well, Mrs. Brown,
think he's a very refined-lookin
Austria and Russia? swear thai
they' won't be drawn into th
Balkan imbroglio, but both an
hungry for territory. Buzzards
ddn't sit long on the. fence when
there's victuals vol sight.