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Newspaper Page Text
WHY HE COULDN'T
An American philanthropist'
made a business of getting jpbs
for men just out of jail. A notor
ious cracksman came to him with
a letter of introduction -from the
"I've the very thing you want,"
said the philanthropist, when the
jail-bird had dilated adequately
aftd with pride -upon' his exploits.
"I'll see my friend Briggs. Come
around' tomorrow morning."
The cracksman, encouraged by
the prospect of honest work, ap
peared promptly at the appointed
"You're to go to work at once,"
said the philanthropist. "My
friend Briggs is producing a
melo-drama. In it is a scene
where a burglar enters the rd"om
and cracks a safe. It'll only take
you a few minutes, and you don't
have to speak a word just exe
cute the job with the minute de
tail that will make it look.real.
Your salary will be fifty dollars
The convict dolefully shook his
"Sorry I can't take the job,
"Can't take it? Why, it's the
chance of your life." .
"Can't help it, boss ; I promised
my mother I'd never go on the
A hostess, who was going to
give a big dinner party, hired a
page for that particular evening
to help with the waiting,.andduly
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JDOUSTFUL "PRECINCT, I CQUCrM
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impressed his duties upon him
during the course of the after
noon. "Now, Tames," she said, "it will
be vour duty to hand round the
wines, and you will begin with tre ,
sherry. There are two- kinds of ,
sherry, and the inferior kind is to
be offered with the soup. Do
James duly mastered this and.
the other details of his work, and1
the banquet began. Presently thev
hostess signea to james, ana tna.t
young man, seizing in? -uecanier
began to make his rouncjs, saying,
in clear and penetrating" tones as
he approached each guest:
"Inferior .sherry, maam? In-'
ferior sherry, sir?" . "