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Newspaper Page Text
A BUNCH OF JABS
Probably the next man Hearst
threatens to support will get out
Taft reported still smiling. But
then Nero fiddled while Rome
National Democratic leaders
are looking for the political
p'rophets who said the election
would be thrown into the House
Peter Bartzen was-just a little
bit premature in thanking Andy
Lawrence for getting him elected
We have suddenly become im
bued with the intensest curiosity
as to how grand juries are drawn.
All Democrats are divided into
three parts Democrats, Sulli
vanites and Hparst-Harrisonites.
The Bulgarian Bull Moose
swept the Turkish Old Guard in
to the very gates of the Mormon
The B. B. Moose also captured
the government, thus niffily cut
ting off the federal patronage sup
ply flf the Mormon capital.
Harry Wolverton, late mana
ge" ut the Highlanders, probably
knows what Taft feeis like.
'the Hearst papers wished
themselves on Peter Bartzen.
Bartzen was defeated for presi-?
dent of the county board.
The Hearst papers wished
themselves on Maclay Hoyne.
Hoyne Was elected by riarrou st
The Hearst papers wished
themselves on Wilson. Wilson
carried state by narrowest' of
The Hearst papers ignored
Edward F. Dunne. Dunne was
swept into office by 100,000 plu
rality. Hint to ambitious candidates of
the future: Get the Hearst papers
to support your opponents.
Having disposed of Taft, the
people will now return to the
burning question: What can we
do with Charles Webbfoot Mur-.
Those 40 states Wilson earned
will be a fine club to hold over the.
head of Congress if it gets to flirt
ing with Special Privilege.
Gov. Deneen threatens to call
special session of legislature to
elect Republican U. S. senator.
Even if he does, Deneen can't
make the people think any worse
of him than they showed they did
Vic Lawson and the Tribune;
threaten to spend the next few,"
years ot tneir respective exist
ences, praising A. A. McLormick.
McCormick, in this instance,
beiner the only officeholder the
Trib and Vic have to amuse them
WHY SHE DIDN'T
First Suffragette Did you
vote the Progressive ticket?
Second Suffragette I didn't
vote at all.
First Suffragette Why not?
You registered, didnjt you?
Second Suffragette Yes, I
registered, but I was atraid some
one would challenge my vote
You see, when they asked my age
I got so flustered I gave them mv.
bust measure instead. ,