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Newspaper Page Text
fwrim -mm, O-n m-sa, ra w ?33rtcaa 33rali- I'm a calm and placid person and my temper seldom rises (You may take that with a modicum of salt). I can bear my share of troubles and of worries and surprises And it's truly very seldom I find fault. ' But there's one thing gets my nanny and it gets her good and plenty, And my language grows cerulean in tone, When I telephone this happens fully nineteen times in twenty And somebody snorts "Whoisthis?" on the phone! Then I want to bust that party where a bust is greatly needed, On the jaw bone, on the blinker, on the nose; But my wild satanic anger isn't very greatly heeded And it doubtless never will be, I suppose; ' - . Yet I'd like to use a pistol or a cutlass or a-cleaver s On the vast unnumbered masses who are prone To wait until my coral ear is glued to the receiver And then bellow out "whoisthis?" on the phone! a I'm a calm and placid person with a kindly disposition " But I'm truly something ugly when I'm mad, And I wish I owned the tortures of the Spanish inquisition, Every -rack and grill and thumbscrew that they had, I would seize these surly parties, and with eyes that fairly glisten I would rack 'em with a fury never known . r And for years I'd sit and watch 'enj and for years I'd make 'em listen While I bellowed out "whoisthis?" on the phone! o o HIS FIRST THOUGHT Model Citizen My lad, if I were to buy a paper of you and give you a $5 gold piece in mis take for a penny, what would you do? Newsboy I would wonder what you had been drinking. o o How Long Will Mary Be Away? Before Mary went away; fori I, starts her summer holidays somebody asked her when she was going $) and how long -she would be away, and this is what she saidj: "When it is the day after tomorrow I shall start a week from yesterday, and I'm not coming back until the day before five weeks after a fort-" night and three days before the day after a counle of da vs 'before yifrfoggflj jjjJyyj&&jUyM