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Newspaper Page Text
I'm a calm and placid person and my temper seldom rises
(You may take that with a modicum of salt).
I can bear my share of troubles and of worries and surprises
And it's truly very seldom I find fault. '
But there's one thing gets my nanny and it gets her good and plenty,
And my language grows cerulean in tone,
When I telephone this happens fully nineteen times in twenty
And somebody snorts "Whoisthis?" on the phone!
Then I want to bust that party where a bust is greatly needed,
On the jaw bone, on the blinker, on the nose;
But my wild satanic anger isn't very greatly heeded
And it doubtless never will be, I suppose; ' - .
Yet I'd like to use a pistol or a cutlass or a-cleaver s
On the vast unnumbered masses who are prone
To wait until my coral ear is glued to the receiver
And then bellow out "whoisthis?" on the phone! a
I'm a calm and placid person with a kindly disposition "
But I'm truly something ugly when I'm mad,
And I wish I owned the tortures of the Spanish inquisition,
Every -rack and grill and thumbscrew that they had,
I would seize these surly parties, and with eyes that fairly glisten
I would rack 'em with a fury never known . r
And for years I'd sit and watch 'enj and for years I'd make 'em listen
While I bellowed out "whoisthis?" on the phone!
HIS FIRST THOUGHT
Model Citizen My lad, if I
were to buy a paper of you and
give you a $5 gold piece in mis
take for a penny, what would you
Newsboy I would wonder
what you had been drinking.
How Long Will Mary Be Away?
Before Mary went away; fori I, starts
her summer holidays somebody
asked her when she was going $)
and how long -she would be away,
and this is what she saidj: "When
it is the day after tomorrow I
shall start a week from yesterday,
and I'm not coming back until the
day before five weeks after a fort-"
night and three days before the
day after a counle of da vs 'before