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Newspaper Page Text
lie snarled. "Ain't you gdt.
nothing else to do but bore into
Still, I had to know all about
it. "Have you been speculating
in Wall street and you brought
up so nice?" I demanded.
No, he hadn't done nothin' at
alMike that," and he was going to
"get it all right 'back, doubled."
But I kept at him. and found he's
drawn out $75 andvbet it on the
; boy next door to win the fight
with "Uppercut" McBruise.
"Y6u'see, I snuck. around to
McBrufses camp, to look nim
over," Dudley tried to' explain,"
and honesi he's stowed' up so a'
cripple cpuld beat him. And Wis
enhimer, his "manager, had the
"'crust to flash mpney at-me and
offer me 8 to 5 'Uppercut' would
win. Well, 'I happened to know
young Rausmitt is right, and I
called Wisenhimer's bluff. Ig
natz will whip him, sure., It's a
Believe me, I roasted Dudley
to a crisp for gambling. What a
terrible thing it would be if he'd
lose the bet. My, I hope more
than ever" the Rousmitt boy does
-put it over on McBruise.
, Mark Twain's spontaneous fun
was irresistible. When a joke of
-his'had fallen pat and had.been re
ceived in silence by his audience,
he remarked : "A crowd like that
can make a good deal of, silence
when they combine.". It was
.Twain who said : '
"Reader suppose you were an
idiot. And suppose you were a
member of congress. But T repeat
When he was ill hundreds of
quacks wrote to him advising him
to take their mediines. To all of
them he, sent the folloiwng circu
lar: "Dear Sir : I try every remedy
sent to me. I am now on No. 7.
Yours is 2653. I am looking for
ward to its benefiical results'
Twain, however, had his mo
ments of melancholy. "The man
who'fs not a pessismist is a fool,"
he onqe wrote. 'T never greatly
envied' anyone but the dead; J al
ways envy the dead." And when
urged by his friends to leave the
Eternal round" of the"city and go
tohis country home for a rest he
replied: "The country home I
need is a cemetery." '
Unsealed Tomato Butter.
To every seven pounds of firm,
ripe tomatoes, spared and sliced,
add threepounds of sugar, a scant
pint of vinegar, an ounce of pow
dered cinnamon and half an ounce
of whole cloves. Boil for three
hourst This may be kept unsealed
and dipped into at any time.
School Teacher Now, give me
an example of a word where the
word "kin" makes it mean some
thing smaller. Boy Please, sir,
lambkin a little lamb. Teacher
Yes.. And who can give me an
other one? All were silent for a
few minutes. Then a shrill voice
called out: "Please, sir, I "know
one." Teacher Yes. What is it?
Boy Please, sir, pumpkin a lit
tle pumjg. - - '- v"--'