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Newspaper Page Text
WHAT SHE WANTED
The man couldn't help hearing
the conversation of the couple be
hind him, They looked like newly-married
folk, hut were not on
their honeymoon, as wa& learned
by deduction. The woman lajd
down a newspaper she had been
reading and said to her husbands
''Do you know, I wish I had
one of these affinities. Oh, 1
, think it would be justgr-a-n-d to
sit on a rock with somebody, and
have him rave about the inconv
parable golden colpr of rhy hairt
And tell me that my eyes were the
most beautiful in the whole
world, and' "
"Uh-huh!" said the husband,
"And that the delicate pink of
my cheeks had been painted there
iy the angels, and that he
couldn't live without me "
'"Tisn't an- affinity you want,"
interrupted her husband. "What
you seem to want is a plain, old
On a passenger steamer the
sailor in charge of the passengers'
luggage was having a hot time.
One old lady especially so need
lessfy worried the seaman that at
length, in exasperation, he gave
her u cordial invitation to go to
The indignant old dame stalk
ed to the captain and breathed
forth thrgats about headquarters
knowing, and so on. The captain
advised the sailor, for his own
good, to apologize. After some
uersuasion the Highlander sidled
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up t( the aggrieved passenger
and, looking sheepishly at her,
said, in his imperfect English;
"Are you the old lady that wa
told to go to Jericho?"
"Yes," she replied.
"Well" with a gulp "tho
captain says you needn't,'
q o -
She Was Safe.
"I'd like to open a singing
school' said the young lady with
the squeaky voice- "Do you think
there is a large field in this com-1
"Yessum,' drawled the rud
farmer, "tharbe a Jield forty
acres wide back o' the brick kilns
an nothin' you could disturb but
rabbits and worms,"