Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1924 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
STORY ABOUT TOMMY
Tommy Goosenberry had just
drifted in and attached himself to
the family circle. His pa glanced
at him and asked: """
"Tommy, how do you stand, in
school these days?"
"In the corner most of the time,
replied truthful Tommy.
"Well," came back his pa, with
the usual dish of advice, "if you'd
pay more attention td what you
read you'd stand a lot better in
"Is that so?" cheerfully replied
Tommy. "And should a feller be
lieve ,all he reads?"
','He should if It's a good book,"
answered his pa.
"Is this a good'book?" asked
"Sure it is."
"Well, then," asked Tommy,
"how do you make this out? The
book says, 'Having lit his pipe,
the sailor sat down on his chest' "
"His chest was his trunk," ex
plained Mr. Goosenberry.
"Is an elephant's trunk his
chest ?" asked Tommy.
"Aw, yeu'd better hike off to
bed ; I have to read the paper," re
plied his pa.
"X just want to ask you one
thing more, pa."
Well, whatis it?': -
"If a boy is a lad and lias a step
father, is the lad a step-ladder?"
And then Tommy EjI'D hustle
Last Sunday Tommy asked his
teaSher : "If you have ten oFany-.
thing and break one, how many
have you left?"
"Why, nine, of course," replied
A soisej i coess)
V I BTTCfc .ATTEND
V TO HfM. y
the teacher. She was a new teach
er and didn't know Tommy very
"Then, if anybody breaks one
of the ten Commandments, there
are only nine left; is that right?"
And the teacher spent the next
thirty minutes getting that idea
out of Tommy's cranium.
Having happily disposed of
the gruesome Jabor of giving
away all hit$2S,0OQ,0OQ worth of"
his estate, Carnegie feels prepar
ed to die a pauper.
The Turks' fell back 'on the:
rear rapidly and in disorder,
cables a Balkan, war correspond :
ent. Ha. I now we see the reason
for those nice big soldierly skirts