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Newspaper Page Text
MARRIED MEN MUST CRAWL OVER ON LEFT SIDE
Fort Collins, Col., Dec 6.-Is
the husband or the wife entitled
to the right side of the bed?
This momentous question was
officially settled by Chief of Po
lice Strahan last night. He said
the'' wife was. ,
About 3 o'clock this morning
Strahan was called up at his home
by William 'Suderman.
"Come right over to my house,
chief," Suderman said. "Hurry."
With visions of murder and
sudden death before him, the
chief climbed into his clothes and
beat it to Suderman's home.
There he found Suderman
shrinking in a corner of the bed
room. Mrs. Suderman was dom
inating the situation with a roll
ing pin. $
"What is it?" asked the chief.
"It's "just this, chief," be
"It is nothing of the sort," said
Mrs. Suderman. "It's he"
"Don't you believe her, chief,"
.said Suderman. "She's"'
"I am not, chief. And if this
almost-man dares to call me such
"I didn't call her anything,
"Stop it!" yelled the chief.
"Stop it! D'you want to drive me
"Well, but, chief" r- began
"Shut up!" said the 'chief.
"We'll take this by' rounds. The
first round is madam's What is
"Well, chief, I'm only 19 years
old. My father is George Gross
man of Denver. I have been mar
ried to this man only-two months.
"I don't know why I married
him. I suppose there must have
been something the matter with
my head. I figured all daj( yester
day trying to think of one soli
tary reason why I"
About this time, the chief be
gan pawing the air, .and gasping
"Say," he cried, "will you stop
this, and get down to cases?
What is the trouble?"
"Why, chief, this man I mar
ried goes' to bed first every night
and he. hogs the right side of the
bed and 'the right side is next to
the wall, and it is the most com
fortable and I never get a chance
at it and I just couldn't stand it
any longer and so nf told him he
had to move and when he
wouldn't believe it I took the roll
ing pin and I "
'"Snottgh," said the chief.
"'Stoo in,fact. Now what are your
"Why, she's just told you,
chief? Ain't I a man? Ain't I
her husband ? Didn't she promise
to love, honof and obey me for
ever and ever amen and ain't I
the boss of my own house. Ain't
I got a right to the side of the bed
I want?" .
"Did you two call me out of bed
to decide which one of you had a
right to the right side of the
bed?" asked the chief solemnly.
"Yes, chief, began Mrs. Suder
man, and I want you to know "
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