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Newspaper Page Text
than he can, and besides he's the
one who called me to the phone.
Suderman, if you don't let your
wife hay& the right side of the bed
I'll send you tojailjfor a month."
"Now, you see!" said Mrs. Su
derman to her husband. r
"Well"' began ' that gentle
man. "You shut up," said the chief.
"What I said gctesand your wife
gets the right side of the bed for
ever and ever, amenr and the
world without end. Goodnight'
Outside, at the first street cor
ner, the chief raised his two hands
up to heaven and got rid of some
of the most colorful language that
ever was heard in Fort Collins.
He went ahout ten tfrinutes
straight without ever using- the
same word twice, and at the end
of it started home muttering to
"Thank God I'm a bachelor!"
Judge Pirickney apparently de
sires to drop a monkey wrench
into the machinery controlling
the Hon. A. A. McCormick's guil
lotine. No wonder the governor of
South Carolina made that remark
to the governor of North Caro
lina when the governor of South
Carolina feels called upon to send
the revered constitution of his
state plumb to and in public
It is becoming a Chicago fash
ion to do one's Christmas steal
W. H. Taft has approved Roy
West's plan for rebuilding the
Illinois G. O. ,P. Taft, you know
is president of the United States.
Ella Wilier VSfheelcox helieves
in reincarnation, but she doesn't
let on who she is the reincarna
Mrs. George Brayton, of
N'Yawkis giving -a party in
honor of the betrothal of two of
her pet cats.
We'd hate to say What we think
about this any anyhow we
coujdn't because the U. 5. postal
authorities are quite strict about
things like that
But we would like to know what
debutante is going to bridesmaid
to the tabby cat, and what cot
tilon leader best man to the, Tom.
possibly some bright star of
the 400 also will be made first
lady of the bedchamber, or some
thing like that, too.
Irucille Cameron, who married
Jack Johnson, has not yet sued for
a divorce, nor has she committed
Wanted His Money Back.
A little bov eot'into a street car
and as more people got in the con-'
"Move up ! Move up !"
Still others got in and again the
"Move Up ! Move up !"
When the little-lad'got out at'
the end of his journey he said to
"I want my nickle back."
"Want your nickle back? What
"'Cos I've been walking ever
since I got in."