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Newspaper Page Text
RATTLING GOOD FIDDLE
To possess a bass fiddle" ha'd
been the dream of Jock's life, but
never had the funds permitted.
At last, being a handy man, he
decided to make one. So" he de
voted all his spare time for several
weeks to the far from easy task.
Joy !""" It was done, and Jock
called in his wife to share in his
"There, lass," he said proudly,
"isn't it a real good fiddle?"
Mrs. Jock agreed. Then, to try
its weight, she lifted it, and some
thing inside gave an ominous
Husband and wife stared in
horror at one another. What had
happened? Then a sad look came
into Jock's eyes.
"Lass," he said, in tones of calm
despair, "I've left thevgluepot in
Over on the West: Side there is
a glue factory, and at certain per
iods it emits a smell that sticks.
A lady who is compelled to travel
on the railroad which passes this
nostril paralyzer always carries
with her a bottle of smelling salts.
One morning a suburbanite
happened to be seated facing her.
As the train neared the factory
she opened her bottle of salts, and
soon the whole car was filled with
a horrible stench of glue. The
suburbanite suddenly jumped to
his feet and saiI :
"Madam, I don't want to be
personal, but would you mind put
ting the cork into that bottle?"
Boys, Te tfw 7hat "Puts you JBsfors
iHEPueuc jo oFr Tonvr, and ujaut
riuw iu jxj it. ucjcir, you ser up
- I -. . ' . . . i
jrtc uttOS A NO ADOLF, YOU
HAD THE ADVANTAGE
Two Irishmen were digging a
sewer. One was a big, tall, strong
man, about 6 feet 4 inches in
height, and the other ,was a little
puny man about 4 feet 6 inches.
The foremaa came along to see
how the work was progressing,
and noticed that one of them was
doing more work than the other.
So he called down to the big
fellow and said :
"Look here, Pat; how is it that
little Mickey Dugan, who is only
half as big as you, is doing twice
as much work as you ?"
Glancing down at Mickey, Pat
"And why shouldn't he? Aint
he nearer to it?"