Why hasn't the Hon. George
I. Haight filed a contest for the'
state's attorneyship.? Does he
Mary Garden has shocked Bos
ton;" but then Boston is so dog
gone easily showed by any
thing" except its awn wickedness.
Taft may be a Yale 'professor
when fr$ quits the White House.
From prpfessor to president is
one-thing; but from president to
professor is another,
EameslWacVeagh is Bull Moos
ing against Art Meeker's ruling
against the Tango. What does
MacVeagh know ahout it; he
wasn't brought upvin the stock
yards? ' '
J. Og Armour, Andy Carnegie
and a few others are thinking of
moving to California "What has
California done to deserve this ?
Federal Judge Landis has dis
covered origin of recall of judges
idea in, 115 letter. Evidently
there were punk judges ngarly a
century ago. ,
. TlHnoisCovfcsjfust -Like Mint."
Head in Tribune-l T,hjey ought
to be from the price "we pay for
butter and milk. - j
Ralph Chesley Ott,$he artist,
says his wife left him home to
mind the babies' while she went
Ralph is the reincarnated Egyp
tian pripce whose also reincarnat
ed wife starten divorce proceed
, ings by beamg him witfiVcoffee
percolater. ,h . v '
Hoyrifeurfi He'll Be Ousted."
Head in yesterday's American,
Wonder what copy reader was
feed for that break.
Pierp. Morgan is giving $100
Christmas cards. He,also is giv
ing a whole lot of people a pain.
Query: Is being in the Bal
kans more dangerous than trying"
to cross a loop street with these
new "toot-toot" regulations?
Every once in so often some
mutt in the army has to horn into
the limelight by writing poems at
the "Me Und Gott" gentleman
who rules Germany.
To the missus: We have all
the neckties we want or are ever
likely to need.
Jack Cudahy says he made a
slight mistake in cutting up Jere
Lillis. It is tp be hoped he apolo
gized properly. But he couldn't
uncut his victim.
The poor people of Chicago
ought tor cheer up; the truck gar
deners of Stockton, Cal., are go
ing to -send them a few carloads of
Toot! Go South or North.
Toot, toot! Go East or West.
Toot, toot, toot! Oh, go to blazes I
On Good Terms.
A little girl, being lost, was"
taken to the police station, and
the officers in charge tried unsuc
cessfully to find out her name.
"What pame does your mother
call yoqr father?" said one.
"Why," responded the child inno
cently, "she don't call him any;
names; she likes himl"
o o '
"Good cooks are more neces
sary than governors," says Hon.
Tom Marshall. Nice vice presi-
dent, a fellow who doesn't know,
that cooks are governors I
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