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Newspaper Page Text
see reason. This was accomplish
ed by a gentle hint that he would
be separated from his allowance
of $5,000 a'montfi i he didn't be
So Walt and his relatives set
tled that Walt Would break off
with Mrs. Barnes-Creel, and
would be a good boy and keep his
affinities under cover in the fu
ture. When this was settled, Walt
went to Mrs. Barnes-Creel's
apartments at night to brealche
He did it in a perfectly gentle
manly fashion, only MrsBarnes-d
Creel ctiuldn t see it She wept at
first; then denounced him as a
scoundrel, and finished up by
plugging Walt two times through
the right lung.
When the blood from Waifs
wounds began messing up the
carpets, Mrs. Barnes-Creel, got
scared stiff; telephoned for a doc
tor and H. de Mumm, andb.it the
high places for "London.
H. de Mutrim arrived and found
brother Walt in a pretty bad way.
But, of course; it would never do
to have scandal touchingthe fair
name of Mumm's, Extra'Dry.
So H. had Walt moved to a pri
vate hospital, and the next day
all the Paris newspapers told
about the sad automobile accident
in which that foremost citizen,
Walter de Mumm, had been bad
Unfortunately; there's a gang
of noisy American newspaper
men in Paris, and they clidn't fall
for that auto accident stuff at all.
tThey breezed around until they
found out the truth, and then
spread the news broadcast.
The de Munn family is hurt and
injured today. Also it has locked
itself up, and refused to see any
thing that remotely looks like a
newspaper man especially an
SLEEPY WIVES NOTICE!
Milwaukee, Wis., Dec. 14. To
put stop to flood-of protests being
received from irate husbands,
Municipal Judge Nolan gave sev
en conditions -under which a man
should get his own breakfast..
Here they are: r :
1. Jf his wife is sick.
- 2. When babies re sick ()'
3. When his wife has a hard
day's-ironing ahead. v
4. If it's wash Say.- ()
5. During liduse ""cleaning.
6. One month -for-the fun of
the thing. - -
7. Daily uring'fhe first three'
monthsfof marriage. ()
() Dogs don't count.
() Pres'ence of a wash
woman lets hubby out.
() Remarried widows can
not take advantage of this rule.
The court recently sentenced a
man to get his'own breakfast for
a year because, his wife said, she
didn't get any pleasure out of life,
and she would rather sleep late in
the morning than own a brewery.
o o "
"Whatsis your name?" inquired
a lady of her new cook. "Mrs,
McCarthy," replied the cook. "Do
you expect to be called Mrs. Mc
Carthy?" "Oh, no, "ma'am not
if you have an alarm clock."