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Newspaper Page Text
Hpnpp'j mw Jlf
HE GOT AIR
For days he had eaten nothing,
and Christmas loomed before
and mince pie-less
Faint and famishedhe swayed
upon the pavement, tottered and
isank into a telescopic heap.
A sympathetic crowd eagerly
gathered round. Those in front
Whispered to each other of the
paleness of the victim's face, the
redness of his eyes, etc., while
those behind stood in blissful ig
norance as to whether it was a
motor smash, a drunk or a cheap
jack. "Now then, now then," cried
the policeman, as he backed the
throng away from the man.
"Stand back there! He wants
more air. Give him air!"
"Yes, give me air," gasped the
outcast, slowly opening his eyes.
'Tve lived on it for a week, and I
may as well have another feast
before I say 'Good-bye'."
BAD FOR MARY ANN
Thump! thump! went the mo
tor car, asjt stood outside a rail
way station. A crowd of rustics
gathered round it, gaping at the
chauffeur, and passing remarks
that made him smile.
"I say, mister," said one, at
last, "what power drives the car
along at such speed?"
"Petroleum, my man," was the
"'Ear that, George'" said the
inquirer to his friend, who had
just appeared on the scene. "Pe
troleum shoves 'er along."
"Ah," was the reply, "that
fx Hjp coe to av4X
f flSH you a NeftpY luWJ!
CHRISTMAS, OiQAR, Q mSS
I also x hafa y (fjk tmwt
'ulnjti r .1 ii in mi i il.li I 111 fm i ii i J J
ain't nathin'! Petroleum shoved V
ain't nathin'! Petroleum shoved
our Mary' Ann through thetack.
agin the barn. She was tryin' to
light the fire with it."
- o o
"I've got a ripping idea for a
moving picture film. Something
absolutely jiew and novel"
"What is it?" asked the excite4
manager., xet us nave a scene
showing a young woman doing
the housework while her mothexvl
is playing the piano or manicur
ing ner nails. i.M
- '0 O-i
Wouldn't it be funny should -
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iiiuv- uiu uitttt cat up uic tuintv
while the others were haggliriff"
about howt0 carve it?