Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
It's winter now remove the shredded hay
And other breakfast foods of lighter weight;
Such airy stuff as wholly out of date;
Bring on the steaming mush, to start the day.
Then, when I have that nicely stowed away,
With steak and fried potatoes fill my plate,
Or ham and eggs or, say, it's simply great
To see such vittles smoking on the tray!
And then the buckwheat cakes ! Oh, I can eat
Such fare as that as long as it will come;
Tingling with joy from palate down to feet..
I poUf the sirup out and then yum, yum !
On grub like that I'd fight a foreign fleet,
And put a health food army on the bum
ANSWER STILL WANTED
A learned professor at one of
the large public schools was ex
plaining to his class how the iden
tity of a thing might remain, even
with the loss of-its parts. "Here,"
he said, "is this penknife. Now,
suppose I lose this blade and re
place it with a new one -you see
it has two blades is if still the
"Yes, yes," cried the class.
"And suppose' he said, "I lose
the second blade, and replace it
with a new one is it still the
"Oh, yes," said .the class.
- "Now," said the professor tri
umphantly, "suppose I lose the
handle and have a new one made
is it still. the same knife?"
"Certainly," roared the class.
But here a youth arose one of
the clear-headed kind. "Profes
sor," said he, "suppose I should
find those two blades and that
handle, and put. them together,
again what knife would that
The professor's answer is not
PUT ON HIS 'GUARD
Little Brother (who had just
been given some candy) If I
were you I shouldn't take sister,
yachting this afternoon.
Ardent Suitor Why do you
Little Brother-Well, I heard
her tell mother this morning that
she feared she'd have to throw;