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Newspaper Page Text
HE TRADED r Martin owned a large dog, but his wife was not fond of dogs. In fact, she detested them, and the amount it used to eat annoyed her all the more. "Hang that dog!" said she one day. "I wish you'd do something with him get rid of him, or sell him. What's the use of keeping a worthless brute like that?" "All right, my dear," said Mar tin. "Say no more about it. I'll get rid of him one of these days." But Martin's wife was not to be put off in this manner. For days she kept on nagging about the dog until Martin's life became un bearable, and he was obliged to do something to escape her tongue. "Well, my dear," he said one day, "I've sold Joe at last." "Have you really? I'm so glad," she said. "How much did you get for him?" "Four dollars," he responded. "That's capital!" she cried. "Where's the money, my love?" "You see, dear," he replied; "I didn't get any money. I took two puppies at $2 apiece in exchange." o o BARRED AND BARREN What would father say? She had fallen in love with an impe cunious baron and the question of his bank account versus pa was being settled. Mother did not know much about the matter, but dropped in just as father and daughter were discussing this vast problem of natrimony. OSGAR ACH, soBoav hass MAn-ea? UCH A OAINTY SOILE-D HAM! TAKE IT AVAY, ADOcF, TO uis-3. xe;ss TVt BeFOKc i "But what is he baron of?" asked mother. For a moment father and daughter looked at one another. The nobleman was of German persuasion, with a totally unpro- 11V,U..V.V.W,.V- WCWWV.. .,, "Oh,' ejaculated father, ge ting a happy inspiration, "he barren of funds that's what her is!" And the match was declared off. He I have a nervous headache' tonight. She I've heard that music will cure anything of nervous origin. Shall I sing you? He Oh, it doesn't ache badly as that