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Newspaper Page Text
TRAPPED IN NO TIME
"Thomas, you've been idling!
I know you have, so it's no use
to deny it !"
The solicitor had been away in
the country calling upon a client,
but on his return there were signs
of loafing and laziness on the part
of the junior clerk.
"Thomas, that typewriter has
not been touched today!" snap
ped the man of law.
"Oh, sir!" ejaculated the jun
ior. "Why, I was using it only
an hour ago!"
"Then," thundered the employ
er, "how comes it that there's a
spider on the machine, and that
he's woven a web over the key
board?" "Sir," remarked the lad, "I'll
tell the truth. There was a fly in
the works of that machine.
Rather than waste my time in en
trapping the insect, sir, I er in
troduced the spider, sir!"
"I see!" said the lawyer sadly.
TAMED BY A THREAT
"I will," she exclaimed, "I will
not live with you another day!"
"You'll leave me, will you?" he
"Yes, I will."
"Now this minute!"
"I wouldn't, if I were you."
"But I will, and I defy you to
"Oh, I shan't try to stop you,"
he quietly replied. "I will simply
report to the police that my wife
has mysteriously disappeared.
They'll want your description,
and 1 will give it. You wear No.
UWJ Here iss ANOTXxsk mcKACs
TOK MRS. COOSeBBRHY, SIXTH
R.S0R. ADOLF I3S UP3CRC
HOW DCUV6RN VON.
OH, VSCX, H6 SiMPCr
MUST CUM UR
8 shoes ; you have an extra large
mouth; your nose turns up at the
end; eyes rather on the glint;
voice like a "
"Wretch, you wouldn't dare do
that !" she screamed.
They glared at each other for a tri
moment in silence, then it was
plain to see who was the victor. "
"It is easy to sec that your
pie came from Ireland," saic
golfer to a caddy whose brogt
had betrayed him. Mo, sor, yc
are very badly mistaken," replie
the caddv. What? said tt
eolfer. "didn't they come frc
Ireland?" "No, sor," replied
"They're there yet."