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Newspaper Page Text
Lee O'Neil Browne says that
'the person who thinks his neigh
bor a crook because he does not
agree with him is an "infinitesmal
Gee whillikens, and the baby
went and ate up the page of our
dictionary with "spissmire" dec
orating it, too!
Probably Nicholas Murray But
ler, the gent who got the eight
electoral votes of Vermont and
Utah for vice president knows
what it feels like to be a "spiss
We have it on the excellent au
thority of B. E. Sunny that the
hello girls of Chicago need no
Who is Sunny? Why, he's the
highwayman who is president of
the Chicago Telephone company!
Evidently Maclay Hoyne in
tends to stop corruption in the
state's attorney's office.
Hoyne seems to have started
out with some sort of an idea that
he is going to be a real state's at
Of course, the fight over the
speakership is really a fight over
the two U. S. senatorships to be
King Alfonso of Spain says he
may visit U. S. to study our
scheme of government. Poor
Moving picture shows are driv.
ing saloons out of Pottsville, Pa.
For the price of two beers a
miner can have a whole evening
of entertainment, and they're let
ting the beer stay in the barrel.
TIT FOR TAT
The club was as well lighted,
well ventilated and well warmed
as ever it was. The lounge chairs
were as comfortable, the papers
as up to date. And yet, in spite of
all, Gooditt, the golfing enthusi- w
ast, sulked in gloomy silence be
hind the evening paper.
"Hello, old chap!" cried his
friend Joyas, as the waiter assid
uously assisted himoff with his
overcoat. What s the matter
"Matter!" echoed the grumpy
one, moved to speech at last. "The
matter is that that ass Fitzfoozle
wants a keeper. He's been flying
about the links all day, and he ac
tually actually crossed my tee
just as I was about to drive!"
Gooditt groaned aloud as he re
membered the enormity of Fitz
"Good heavens, man! -Is that
all?" cried Joyas, as he stroked
his gloomy friend on the shoulder
and ordered for two. "I'll tell you
"how to settle with Fitzfoozle."
'You will!", cried the other.
"Man, I'm your debtor for life if
you will !" .
"Well," answered Joyas, as he
gulped his drink and subsided be
hind the p-olfinp- enthusiast's
abandoned paper, "take my ad- 3i
vice, and next time he crosses
your 't,' dot his T for him!"
"Whjr did you leave your last
place?" "Well, mum, the master
and missis were always quarrel
ing." "What, always?" "Yes'm.
When it wasn't me and her, it
was me and him."