Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1836-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
'tis DOT KAZHtn flpl
L I TOUCHT IT fp
4 QUININE Z-"
TURNING HIM DOWN
He was a theatrical lover, and she didn't like
his style in the least, for he was constant in his
devotion, which made matters worse. She had
trjed gentle means to get rid of him, but he had
"disregarded them with painful persistency.
"Dear one," he exclaimed, hurling himself
tragically at her feet, "I'love you! My life is
yours ! Will you take it ?"
She did not look like a murderess, but she
responded, with calm determination:
He gazed at her rapturously.
"Don't do that," she begged, drawing back
from him as if in horror. "I have taken your
life, as you requested me to do, and you are
henceforth to all intents and purposes dead."
He seemed dazed.
"I do not," she continued, turning aside,
"desire to have a dead person in the house, and
if you do not go away at once I shall send for
an undertaker and have you removed to th.
Then the dreadful situation in which his
own precipitate folly had placed him was re
vealed, and he removed himself with prompt
ness and dispatch.
HEADS AND BRAINS
Brains A bald head is a sure sign of intel
ligence, my boy.
Henpeck Explain, please.
Brains An intelligent brain moves s
quickly, revolves so rapidly, that the hair
doesn't get a chance to grow.
Henpecked Great Scat, you are right!
Movement so near the skull won't let the hair
take root. That explains another thing.
Henpecked Why, I could never before un
derstand why a woman cannot grow whiske'rs !
"I think a woman ought to make her clothes
match her means." "Dear me ! Are your means
as narrow as that?' .