Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1943 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
I ON y COUNT, J
The small applicant for assist
ance was being interviewed, by a
member of the local charitable
"What is your father?'' asked
the charity worker.
"'E's me father!" was the reply.
Yes, yes.; but what is he?
"Oh, 'e's me stepfather!" was
he urchin's irritating response.
"No, no, you stupid child! I
mean, wnat is nis occupation r
Does he sweep chimneys, or drive
buses, of what?"
A dawning light of comprehen
sion broke over the lad's features.
"O-ow!" he cried. "E ain't
one nothin' since we've had
THRIFT IN HIGH LIFE
"Palgrave," said she, to he
butler, "a word with you, on busi
ness." Palgrave bowed, courteously,
and with a fine absence of conde
scension or patronage.
"Kindly inform all the ser
vants," she went on, "that I shall
expect them, henceforth, to turn
over to me a percentage of the
tips which they receive from
guests at my house parties."
It put even the high-bred but
ler to his resources to conceal his
"But, Madame, what if they
should decline?" he objected, as
gently as he might.
"Remind them, in that case,"
her reply was all in the manner
of firmness, "that I have the in
viting of the guests, and that it
possible to find eligible people
who never give tips."
And her sweet reward was to
be assured by her husband that
he never had a wife who put up
such a front with so little expense
Time 11 :30 p. m.
Place Parlor of her house.
She (indignantly) Sir! Re
lieve me of your presence.
He (rising and taking the ring
from her finger, putting a sofa
cushion under each arm, holding
the dog in one hand, grabbing a
chair, stuffing a chocolate box in
his pocket and sticking a bunch of
flowers in his mouth) Just as
vou say ; I'll send a messenger for