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title: 'The Day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, February 05, 1913, Image 17',
meta: 'News about Chronicling America - RSS Feed',
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
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"So you've broken off your en
gagement with Miss Smarte?"
asked the inquisitive friend.
His victim shook his head.
"No," he replied, "I didn't
break it off."
"Oh, then she-broke it off?"
"No," answered the young
man, enjoying his friend's grow
"But it is broken off, isn't it?"
persisted the curious one.
"Oh, yes," explained the young
man, gently. "She told me what
her dressmaker's yearly bill was,
and I told her what miy income
was. Then our engagement just
sagged in the middle and gently
A "CUTTING" RETORT
A surgeon, who was very
young and very shy, was asked to
dinner by a lady who was at least
fifty and tried to pass herself off
as twenty, and apparently imag
ined that being rude and tomboy
ish assisted to sustain the youth
At dinner she asked him to
carve a fowl, and, never having
carved a fowl before, and being
painfully shy, he made a mess of
it. Instead of trying to cover his
confusion, his hostess called at
tention to it pointedly by looking
down the table and saying, loud
ly: "Well, Mr. P , you may be
a very clever surgeon, but if I
wanted a leg off I should not
come to you to do it."
"No, madam," he replied po-
litely, "but then, you see, youarq
not a chicken."
Advice for the Minister.
In preaching the minister had
been rather long-winded, when
the young bride remembered that
she had left the dinner in the gas
range without regulating the
flame. She hastily wrote a note
and slipped it to her husband,
who was an usher. He, thinking
it was intended for the minister,
calmly walked up and laid it on
The minister paused in the
midst of his sermon, and took the
notewith a smile, which changed
into a terrific frown as he read:
"Please hurry home and shut
off the gas."