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The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, February 11, 1913, Image 19

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1913-02-11/ed-1/seq-19/

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POOR KID.
Which did baby resemble the
more its father or mother? Its
parents were, to put it charitably,
not very prepossessing, nor was
the baby; so, to settle the matter,
they finally resolved to refer it to
arbitration.
"I'll ask old Father B. to step
in and see -baby," said its proud
father. 'He never spoke a flatter
ing word in his life, and we may
trust his verdict implicitly."
So Farmer B. was called in,
and, after pinching the baby to
ee what it looked like when crv-
g, he wrinkled his forehead.
"Well," he began, while the
arents listened eagerly, "it's the
ill o Providence, no doubt, but
it's hard on the nipper, for all
pthat. It has a look of both of
you
i
HIS DEFENSE
In the courthouse an Irishman
stood charged with stealing a
watch from a fellow citizen. He
stoutly denied the impeachment,
and brought a counter-accusation
against his accuser for assault
and battery committed with a
frying pan. The judge was in
clined to take a common-sense
view of the case, and, regarding
the prisoner, sajd:
"Why did you allow the prose
cutor, who is a smaller man than
yourself, to assault you without
resistance? Had you nothing in
your hand to defend yourself
with?"
"Bedad, your honor," said
Pat, "I had his watch, but what
was that against a frying pan ?"
y b
MISUNDERSTOOD
Clarence was usually so rest
less and fidgety in church that his
mother was obliged to reprove
him from time to time. One Sun
day he was so quiet and well-behaved
that his mother noticed it
and spoke approvingly.
"What a good little boy Clar
ence was in church today," she
said. "Mamma was so proud of
you."
"Well," said Clarence, "I had
to be. The choir looked right at
me, and sang over and over
again : 'Please, be still ; please, be
still.' "
Gibbs Stout people, they say,
are rarely guilty of meanness or
crime. Dibbs Well, you see, it's
so difficult for them to stoop to
anything lov -
mammmmamammmmmm

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