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Newspaper Page Text
"UNEASY LIES THE HEAD THAT WEARS A CROWN"
If you were a king like, say, Alphonso of Spain Alf, the plucky,
luckv fellow, who has bombs served to him almost as frequently as
a workiritrman gets a beefsteak, but whom neither bombs nor bums
can scare would you be wholly pleased to learn that the stork was
on its jy with a fifth little prince or princess?
Of Course it's downright fine of Queen Victoria she that was
the poor Princess Ena of Battenberg, almost a nobody in royalty's
set to signalize her rise to a throne by heirs rathen than airs. Yet
what must her feeling be when she reflects upon the hazards of a
royal house and measures the chances that her children will have to
The custom of putting conspicuous persons to death when things
go wrong is, of course, as foolish as it is cruel. Yet no custom is
more firmly established in history. Republics as well as monarchies
have it. Human nature prefers to do its reforming by proxy. It
insists upon having scapegoats.
Hence the uncomfortably large chance that these little princes
and princesses of the Asturias, whose royal parents seem pretty like
able folk, may not live to an average life, with a normal record of
useful achievement and affection. At any moment they may be
hurled from their comfortable berths into a hurly burly for which
they have not been fitted.
Thank fortune you were born a plain American. Though a sov
ereign, nobody begrudges your crown save, possibly, the hair tonic
man. If fate deprives you of one job, you are quite competent to
hustle for another.
HENRY WAS USEFUL
"Henry, ' said his father-in-law,
as he called his daughter's spouse
into the library and loeked the
door, ''you have lived with me
now for over two years."
"In all that time I haven't
asked you a penny for board."
"No, sir" wonderingly.
"In all your Tittle family quar
rels I have always taken your part
and decided in your favor'-
" Always, sir."
"I have even paid some of your
"A good many, father."
"And in every way helped you
to get along."
"You have been-very kind, sir."
"I have tried to be, my boy, and
I hope you appreciate it."
"I do, sir."
"Then the small favor I am
about to ask of you will no doubt
"Most certainly, sir."
"Thanks. Then I want you to
tell your mother-in-law that thcse
tickets for the supper-club dance
which she picked up in my room
this morning must have accident
ally fallen out of your pocket, and
we'll call it square f