Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
OH, TELL ME!
Oh, tell me, does the setting
sun e'er feel a sinking pain? Why
is (inform a "Puzzled One") a
weathercock so vane? Do stars
require a gun to shoot? What
makes a bucket pail? What tailor
makes the chimney's soot? Who
Writes the comet's tail?
And why are dogs so lovable,
however much they whine? Pray
tell me, Mr. Editor, what makes
the fir tree pine?
Why is a vessel.'s hind part
stern? Who sings an old hen's
lay? Please, tell me, for I'd like
to know, who wears the close of
"Will you be my wife?" he
asked. "No," she replied". So he
remained a bachelor and lived
happy tver after.
CJ ouist or HCRC 5
BY GOLCf, t DfDfvT
KNOI YOV UASS 3o
Jock McFizzle rather fancu
himself as a dog breeder, and on
the occasion of a local show he
felt firmly convinced that a young
dog he was entering would carry
off the first prize.
So assured was Jock on this
score that he invited a select
number of his special cronies to
be his guests at the show, prom
ising to stand as universal banker
during the day.
But, alas! human plans, even
the best of them, are never very
Not merely did Tock's dog fail
to run off with the first prize, but,
to the owner's great grief and an
noyance, he failed to secure so
much as a second, third, or even
an honorable mention.
It was too much, especial. -after
current expenses. So that,
seeing one of the judging officials.
Jock rushed at him and ex
claimed: "Mon, for why did my doggie
not win the prize? What's wrong
"Wrong?" replied the judge of
dogflesh, as he surveyed the de
jected quadruped in question.
"Well, to begin with, he's about a
yard too short in the legs!"
Jock eyed his doggie m sheer
astonishment for a couple of sec
onds. Then he turned :
"Eh, mon," he said. "You're a
fool ! The doggie's legs are, touch
ing the ground! What more d'ye
"How much does your wife pay
for her hat3?" "Too much r