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Newspaper Page Text
MNCLOTnES t VEST'S
"Ye still tryin' to git a Job at
Washington, Mistah Poindex
tah?" "Still tryin' Mistah Scahbor
ough. Ef Ah gits it, Ah'll be like
Othello, mah occupation will be
' "Well, your wife am pullin'
against yo'. She says yo' been
loafin' long enough. How would
yo' like a job in de Congressional
. "Wouldn't like it. Ah ain't no
"What would yoJike?"
"Ah'd like to'w a brigadier
"Oh, Ah see-1 you am a army
"Hab yo' really got influence
wif de party bosses?"
"Ah got wuss dan dat; Ah got
confluence Tvif dem."
"But confluence means runnin'
together, don't it?"
"Yaas. We been runnin' to
gether a long time."
"Well, 'den, why don't yo' go
git me a job as door opener ob de
"De door opener jobs am all
"Oh, wellrAh ain't particklar
git mea job as door shutter."
"Ah tell yo' what Ah kin do.
Ah kin land yo' in de Bureau ob
"Reckon Ah wouldn't like dat
"Because dey might transfer
me from dat bureau to de table."
"De multiplication table."
"Ladies and gentlemen, we will
now have Mr. Piecrust in a gal
axy of ballads including, 'Real
Monev Has a Seldom Feel,' 'I
Loved Her Till She Cooked a
Meal,' 'My Darlirig'With the In
grown Feet,' and. 'Why Does a
Chicken Cross the Street.' "
"I couldn't get out of marry
ing her," Henpeck explained.
"When she proposed she said,
'Will you marry me? Have you
any objection?' You see, no mat
ter whether I -said 'Yes' or 'No,'
she had me." "Why diden't you
just keep silent then?" inquired
iis friend. "That's what I did,
and she said, 'Silence gives con
sent,' and that ended it."
It will accommodate Wall
street mightily 'if Wilson will
only say when hi is to take that
nine hours' sleep daily which he
swears he will have anyhow.