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Newspaper Page Text
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Smith the other day went fish
ing. He caught nothing, so on his
way back home he telephoned to
his provision dealer to send a
dozen bass around to his house.
He got home late himself. His
wife said to him on his arrival :
"Well, what luck?"
"Why, fine luck, of course," he
replied. "Didn't the boy bring
that dozen bass 1 gave him?
Mrs. Smith, started. Then she
"Well, yes, I suppose he did.
"There they are."
And she showed poor Smith a
dozen bottles of Bass' famous
"Harry, love," exclaimed Mrs.
Knowall to her husband on his
return one evening from the of
fice, "I have b-been d-dreadfully
"Insulted!" exclaimed "Harry,
love." "By whom?"
"B-by your mother," answered
the young wife, bursting into
"My mother, Flora? Nonsense!
She's miles away on a visit to
Flora dried her tears.
"I'll tell you all about it, Har
ry, love," she said. "A letter came
to you this morning addressed in
your mother's handwriting, so, of
course, I I opened it."
"Of course," repeated Harry;
"It it was written to you all
the way through. Do you under
stand?" "I understand. But where does
the insult come in?"
"It it came in the p-p-post-script,"
cried the wife, bursting
into fresh floods of briny. "It
said: 'P. S. Dear Flora, d-don't
fail to give this 1-letter to Harry.
I w-want him to h-have it.' "
A lady, having left her um
brella in a car, applied for it at the
office. "Oh, you ladies, you
ladies !" said the official in charge,
as he brought out about thirty
umbrellas for her inspection.
"You are so terribly forgetful."
The lady smiled as she calmly
pointed out to him that, with the
exception of three, they were all