Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1924 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
FITTING SUBJECTS .
"'ijo you are a teacher?" re
marked the talkative veteran. "I"
agerypu had to pass a pretty
rstiff exam." ,.
y "Yes indeed!" replied, the in
structor of the young.
"And what were the subjects?"
inquired the inquisitive one. .
E'fWH, we; were examined in
psychology, integral calculus,
'divinity, metaphysical , analysis
and Greek, Latin, ' French and
: "Indeed! And forwhat pbsi-
ktioh yere you striving?"
r Teacher of, the infants, sir. '
' , r o-b
f-'V YOUNG DIPLOMAT
On little Arthur's birthday he
received a. present of a very large,
furry toy monkey. Two, days
later his father found it lying in a
corner with both eyes missing.
"My boy," asked father, more
in sorrow than in angeT, "why
have you spoiled that beautiful
monkey by pulling its eyes out?" '1
"Didn't!" replied Arthur.
"Don't tell any untruths,"
snorted , father, more in anger
than jri . sorrow, "or I'll punish
you. Why did you pull the mon-
.key's eyes QUtB" .
. Didn t! repeated little Ar
thur, deliantlv. Then he hurried
on, as father took off' his slipper.
1 I pushed them in ?
J o o .
WHY SHE RESIGNED '
Miss Singwell had been a mem-
ber of the choral society ever
since itwas formed, and it was
undoubtedly true that her first
youth had waned. But the choir
master was astounded recently
by the news thafshe had resigned
"Resigned" he gasped. "But
"Well, I don't know exactly,"
said the secretary; "but it strikes
me that it may .have something t6
do with the -solo we picked for her
at the next performance."
,"Why? What is it?"
"Don't you remember? It be
gins: T once ws. young, but now
am old. "
Sportsman 1 suppose you
have never had, anything to do
yith racing "Mr. Goodbody?
Curate Er no, not exactly- But'
I did a bit of hpuse-huntihg when
I first got married,, you, knftw