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"Kin yo tell me, Mistafy. Poindex
tab, what a quarduped am?"
"A quadruped, Mistah Scahbor
ough, am anything wif four legs."
t "Thank yo', sah. Den a kitchen
table am -a quadruped?"
"Loosely speakih' sah, It am."
"Den what am a table wjf three
leers, may Ah "ask?"
"A table wif three legs, sah, am a
tripod. An' ef a table could hab only
two legs, it would be, of course, a
"Yaas, dat am all well enough. But
Ah got a table at home wif only one
leg. What would call dat?"
"H'm, what yo' use dis table fo'?"
"Ah uses it fo' a center table."
"Oh. dat am a centipede."
"Byde way, dat coat an' vest'yo'
got on don't fit -you. Dey am too
"Yaas, dat wuz mah mistake."
"Den yo' don't blame de tailor?"
"Naw. Yo' see, when he measured
me Ah had a lot of bills in mah upper
pocket, an' Ah forgot to remove dem
before he passed the tape around
"Say, man, yo' must. hab had a
mighty big roll ob bills!"
"Yaas an' ebery one ob dem tail
or bills, too, Say wuz dat yb'Ah
heard practicih' spme unmusical Ih
.strument de odder ebenin'?"
"Uh-huh. Yo' seff'Ah belongs to
a band. Ah plays de kettledrum."
"Well, whak fo''yo" do your prac
ticin' in de kitchen?"
"Why, Ah does it" in case dey needs
"A few Wagnerian selections by
Herr Dinglewitter, the famous grand 1
opera tenor, will close this evening's
festival ofamusement and music. He
will sing 'A Noah's Ark for Baby's
Lunch,' from n Trovatore, and 'Only
a Can of Pork and Beans' from
suffragettes storm the
carriage. of the king
London, March 10. Suffragettes
forced their way through the sol
diers guarding, the carriage of King
George and Queen . .Mary, who were
on their wayto open parliament, and
attempted to' hurl petitions at.' the
king. " Eleven were arrested. .
The crowd, incensed at the,' tactics
of the women, attempted to. take
them from the police and duck them
in the lake. Jn, St. James' park. Af t
er a hard fight'the policemen man
aged to get their prisoners to jail.
Not since the Guy'Fawkes conspir
acy in have the parliament
houses been searched as thoroughly
as today; It .was feared the suffra
gettes wouldihide in the building and
attempt a hew outrage. No women
Sandy Shiftit has been paying $5
a week for nis board. His appetite
constantly increased until finally his
landlady saw that she must either
sell but and quit or raise her board
ers rate. One 'day, after watching"
him feverishly devour plateful after
plateful, she plucked up courage and
said: "Mr. Shiftit, I shall have to-
rajse ypur board to $10:" "Oh, Mrs.
smaii, aon ij saiQ ne in a tone or
db now to eat $5 worth!"