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.He. was a burly, old-fashioned skip
per, and had, not yet become acr
Iquainted with all the latest improve
ments on steamers. When h'e went
on "the bridge of his new steam col
lier the engine-room telegraph was
the first thing that caught his eye..
"What's that' for?" he demanded.
" "That goes down to the engine
room," replied the mate, who was ex
pla3ningthmgs"tQ him "You. see all
itheLorders or itPull speed,' 'Half,'
'Blow,' stop:'- cau you nave to ag is
just tbmoye the handle, and the
r "If'TTmth handle to 'FulL!" will
$fyshe go f fill speed?" asked the capr
tain. "And If J turn it to -stop will
she stdpj?"- ' - ,
"Ah, man," said the skipper; a
slow, glad smileTUgnting his' face af t-
Jter 'a long,, silence; "that's eleven It
aoes. away ynui an inem unpspi.
engineers"."". " " ,
The other morning, as a departing'
steamer for Europe, was casting off
its lines and swinging out into the
stream at New York, an elderly-looking
business man hastily embraced
a" lady, .who was one of the- pas
sengers, and rushed down the gang
plank to the wharf. Going up to a
melancholy loafer who -was watch
ing the busy crowd, the gentleman
drew him behind a pUe of freight andr
"Want to earn; $5?" .
"You see that lady in black on the
"Well, that's my. wife, going to Eu
rope. Now, of course, shell expect
'me to stand here for the next twenty
minutes, while; the steamer is back
ing and filling, so as to wave my
handkerchief' and -watch her out of
sight. See? -
"Well, I'm too busy to fool about'
here. Stock to buy business to at
tend to. She's a little nearsighted
so I'll hire you to wave this handker
chief instead. It's a big-one, with. a
red border, and so long as she sees
it: sheH think it's me. ' Come up
to 345 Broadway, when, they are well
away, and m,pay you." '
"S'posin' she looks through a tele
scope or sumthin'?"
"In that case you'll have, to bury
your face in the handkerchief and
look as though you were weeping."
'That'll be. $2 extra."
All right. Time Is money. Look
sharp, now. You can kiss your hands
a. few times; say, 60 cents for a kiss.'" t
And, snapping his watch, the over
driven business man rushed off.
Mabel So you have broken, off
the engagement. Have you. returned
the ring? Amy Why, no! That
.wouldn't be reasonable. Of course,
I have changed my opinion. of George,
due j aamire tne ring as mucn as