Newspaper Page Text
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A' BROAD. HINT
Two gentlemen -who were playing
cards at a club recently were very
much annoyed by-pther members
who. stood behind their chairs and
interested themselves, in the game.
Finally one of the players asked a
spectator to play his hand for. him
:untll he returned. , "
'I TiThppAiinnn the 'first ,T?1avfr left fhfi
"room. Pretty soon, the second play
eryfollowed ,Uaevexample of 'the first
Tie two substitutes played, for some
time, when "one b.f them asked the
waiter where the twooriginal play-
ra were. '-'
"TJiey are playing cards in the
jpcxt room, sir," was tle waiter's -re-
ike. her maw showed Tier how to
flgegin if. 'It should have been great;
asut it made a gooa weignt. jso one
L Quite nBW. to the business of play
ing Lady Bountiful,, young' Mrs. Pan
der -was' taking the place of the regu
lar district visitor, who was away, on
her summer, holidays. One of her first
calls was upon, ah elderly dame who
occupied a lonely cottage, and Mrs.
Pander carefully inquired what she,
as a district visitor, was supposed to
do.1 . A
"What is my first, pleasant task,
-dear Mrs. Ninety?" the young lady
asked, winningly. ...
"Well-, ma'am,' came the reply,
fust you axes after my- rheumatjz."
"Yes?" queried the-visitor.,
"Then you reads me a'.few lines of
Again came the query.
j'Then you gives me. a dollar ah'
says 'good-by.' "
" o o
r WITTY WOMAN
saloonkeeper who happened to
have a fair-sized nasal organ, was
one day mending a wiieelbarrpw,
when a piece of wood Jumped up and
hit, him on the bridge of the nose, -cutting,
it right; across. His wife
dressed it carefully, .and put on a
large 'patch of. sticking-plaster . An
hour or two after a woman, who was
pasBing through the village called at
the house and ordered, a pint of beer.
On paying for the beer, she- looked at
the saloonkeeper and said:
"Are you going for your holidays,
"No. What makes you ask?" -
"Oh, nothing," said the woman. "I
thought perhaps'' you were when I
see you've got your trunk labelled.?'
Afterfishingforaboirt.3 hours and
not getting even a bite, Mike grew
disgusted, -and determined to give it
up. Just- before' he drew the lines in
a small urchin came along with aa
bid stick, piece of string and -aljent
pin. 'Hello, me by!" saW Mike.
"Goin? fishin'?" "No," replied the
urchin, looking at the unsuccessful
gfcbws ;wliatjlista.keitij&jpu,t Jn. itqne.