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Newspaper Page Text
Mill Dillpickles Educates a Parrot to Assist Her in. Coaxlrlg a Proposal, from'
Leslie Lawncastle, an Obtuse Young Man,:Who'is"Her Heart's "Choice. ,
The Dealer Said It Would Learn ;to Tallc Very Easily;"1
, n. .
Never have I cared for parrpts.
They are empty-headed freaks of
nature. Considering a, parrpt's ac
complishments it has'less brains than
a duck. A duck isn't' supposed to' be.
very bright, but it can go ahead and
lay eggs with very little fuss; but a
parrot talks a whole lot about what
it is going to do and the most; it does
is to pull itself, to-the top'.of the cage
by its beak.- I've always regarded
. parrots as theackass of the feather
.ed kingdom. Yefrtoday I deliberately
go out and buy a parrot
.You see, I need a 'parrot A par
rot is part of my plan. The parrot
is to be my chief accomplice in .a
plot entitled "Leslie Lawncastle's
Last Chance."' Arid' it WILL be'iis
last chance. If .Leslie Lawncastle
pesfi'tiprppogsafter.jhQ parrp i gives
him every aisiBtance, Leslie will have
to warmKis shins at some other fire
side' WSdns'day3 nights. And yhen I
bounce tiinTi'll .'tell him, a few kind
words", ttatwHl singe his ears. off.
Six V.6a'isra'ro'ng .time to four-flush
around, a" girl and let 'her hope on.
Actually;,;" I' .sometimes think Joe
Pretzel,; mayjae more of a man than
ing beaus?iii.h'Is dome.
As to tlYebh-d, Polly isnt going to
taTe ;my(backvard steady by the col
lar and:?,deman'd to know his intentions.',-
That; -would be coarse-work.
I don!t want to scare him away.' I
wanttorgrve the first aid to" a pro
fl inust gornqw and consult with
thatparrpt 'The dealer said it would