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I II U
v JUST IN TIME
The steamer was on the point of
leaving, and the passengers lounged
on the deck and' waited for the start
At length oneof them espied a cyclist
in the far distance, and it soon be
came evident that he was doing his
level best to catch the boat
"'ilready the .'sailors' hands were on
the t gangways, and11 -the cyclist's
chance loolced small indeed. Then a
sportive passenger wagered a dollar
to a cent tha he would miss it The
offer was taken, and at once the deck
became, a scene of wild excitement
"HeTKmiss it" -s
"No; hell just do it"
: "He 'won't ,dor.it"
"Yes. he vti$L He's jdone it."
In the very-nick of time'tfce cyclist
arrived, sprang off J&rmachine; and
ran up the otfe gangway left
"Cast off!" he cried. v f
"It waff the captain.
. I THINK THIS,WILL W
"I have here," said the seedy-looking
individual who had gained the ed
itor's sanctum, "an absolutely unique
work hi- prose. The title is: 'I. think
this will W,' "meaning, of course,
double you up with laughter j and you
will also see a further reason why it
is so called.
"It runs as follows:
" 'Weeping Willie waited wearily,
wondering why wayward -Willie wav
ered. White, wan, wistful was Win
nie; watchful, wise, wily was Willie.
"Willie,"' whispered Winnie,, "why
wait we whilst winter winds woefully
whine? "We will' wander whither we
will, won't we? We'll "walk where
weathered weeping willows wave;
where wretched writhing worms wig
gle; "where winsome warbling water
wagtails wade; where weary wood
men work; where " ' "
''Whoa!" cried the editor. "How
many more pages have you?"
"Only eighteen' replied the au
thor. "How does it strike you?"
"Something like this," answered
the MSS. wrestler; as he hurled a
huge directory at his visitor striking
him in themiddle of the waistcoat,
which immediately doubled him Up,
"Be calm, my dear sir, it is merely
a practical exposition of your story's
title -Tthink this will W.' The direc
tory has done so, you see. It is an
old one, and you can keep it with
your story if you like. Thou woeful,
wily, wayward, wearying, worrying,
wicked, worthless wastrel, withdraw!"
'Weary father, appearing in parlor
doorway at midnight: "My dear sir,
I have no objection to your Coming
here and sitting up half the "night
with my daughter, or to your stand
ing on the doorstep for three, hours
saying 'Good-night' .But, in. consid
eration for the rest of the household
who wish' to, go to sleep, , will you
kindlyHake your elbow' off the push
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