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The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, March 19, 1913, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1913-03-19/ed-1/seq-17/

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ASTRONOMY UHX
QUANJTITATIFC
.CHEMISTRY UNDJ5ER
'ANATOMY UND X6R
1 TRIQONOAterRY Qu6S-
r TIONS. 50 Y4R X HAF NO
GOMTMINTS. BUT ueR
i last QuaSTdN 4
THE LAST WORD
A.friehd of mine unintentionally
made a "goat" out atMs married
brother, Bill, one day last week
when he met. him, In the street.
Billy, do you know you remind me
of "a donkey In more mays than one? "
- J'HOw'for instance, other than the
usual way?"1 half, admitted William.
"DO you give It up?'
r 'Tea, tell me.?'
''Well, foe one. thing, you resem
.ble.a donkeyhfeoause your better half
stubbornness bersehY' .
"That's not. badi Ha, ha! IH try
aton,my wife when;tget home."
. "Emily," he began, aa he sat down
toisupper, "do you know why I am
like. a donkey?"
'Ke.waited a moment, expecting h(s
wife, to give it up, butane didn't She
Hooked at him with some pity, in her
eyes and replied:
vi suppose, dear, because you were
. TWO ANSWERS
The man with tKfc w&ary whiskers
and the Undecided hair tiptoes across
the office" to the desk of the pale
hireling with the fountain pen and
murmurs rw
"A rather neat little idea occurred
to, me this morning; and as I never
write anything myself. I thought I
would give the suggestion to you.
'Live and let live' is my motto, and
when we can help a friend, let us
help him, by all means."
"Noble sentiments," agrees the "
pale hireling. "What is the idea?"
"It is merely an idle fancy, you
might say rather, In its, way,, a Co
nundrum. I am not at all partial to
conundrums unless they are merlto
rlus to some extent; but this idea,
coming, as it did, quite unexpectedly
nun nuat 10 lud wuuuuiuuii
"It Is this: What is the difference
between the stain remaining after a
bottle of ink haB been Upset on a v
small rug before the grate and a
motor-car of the model of 1901?"
"One la a fast color and the other -won't
rUn," languidly says the pale
hireling.
But the man -ith the weary
whiskers; cackles' happily and says:
"No, np. You see, even you pro
fessional men are not always able to
solve these hUmofoUS problems. The
true answer is that one, 1b a mark on
the drugget -and the other is a drug
on the market."
o o '
See the Point?
They were decorating the parish
church-for a certain festival, when
the vicar happened to come in. See
ing some tacks lying abqnt the pulpit,
he remarked to his daughter, who
had apparently been using them:
"Don't leave those tacks Ivhur
about, Katie. What would ihappen if
I stepped on one in the middle of the
sermon?"
'Well." exclaimed Katie, "there
would be one point yoU would not
ornso." v ,
linger on!" .

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