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Newspaper Page Text
"Well, Ah've'got a jqhat last; Ms
tab. Scarborough'. ' . "
"Ah congratulate-jro', Jpstah'Pqiti
dextah.?' T ' ' j
"Don't congratulate me congratu
late mah -wife. Axi gqt :de;s job for
her." T " " v f
"Hab yo' noticed dat de-Turkish,
troops hab bera decjinated byde Bul
garians?'" X ' " '
"Whereudey,'deciniated on de1
arm or on'ae:,leg? ? . .
"Tut,t,;yciu liave-.-my remark
mistakeOor toocction with vac
cine virus." . : ; ' i . f
"Yaas, dat's,whaf; Ah m.eanwax
bean wifeless.', DiH' it tke?i?''
"Say, Ab've got' complaint- to
make. What's your dog always
barkin' at mfor?"-"
"Wuz mah1" clog barkin' at yo
"Yes. Doeshe.-take me for.de man,
in de moon?"
"Naw- He takes-yo' foh dat Board
ob Health man who come to tell us
to clean up pur -back yard'
"Huh, your "dog" ought to be used
to dat man toy diss time.1 Say, did,
yo' hear abQutMe'misfortune at mah
"Noh, wWt'wuz it?" v, ..
"Ah f ellovef achair and tiroke a
"Did you call a doctor?"
"No, Ah called a cabinetmaker. Dat
wuz de same day mah wife by mis
take sent her bustle to de laundry,
and dey brought home her mangled
form." - - i
"Say.iAli ynderstand dat yp' am-a
henpecked -man." " w ,
..ifYegsahi.mah wife dpnit allow me
fo carry-'a night tfey.'' ''
"Deh,hpw'.cjoes y.o' git -in de house
when you x comes home" late at
night?".- - . '
"1 ''Ah' crows lak a rooster and u$es
, "Our "eccentric quartet, , consisting
of Jfessrs.Henn, Hoggj-'. Batts and
Katz, will" now oblige -by rendering
imitations of barnyard noises, assist
ed by-'the orchestra." '
' PERTINETT '
An inebriated gentleman. was going
home on evening when -he jnet a
.young man wfip. was moving to a
new home. The young man was very
frugal "and nad decided to'move.'his
bwn' thihgs rather pay" a mover.
On' this trip he had a large hall
cldpk'on hisback. It was heavy, and
he struggled" until he heard the in
ebriated one call put:
"Shay, there you!"
Thinking the man was going to
help' lum, he" set down the clock" and
said: T 'v' "
He "was" astonished to ;hear the
other stammer: , "
"""Shay you, why;, don't you buy a
Ex-Senator Cullom, like Mr. W. H.
Taft, formerly president, takes a ?5,
000 job."1 Beats all how their prices
come" down when they have to get
out and hustle for jobs! t