Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1924 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
" IT WAS A VSV
V. ( CLOSE CALL FOR )
y Vbs-Ye$s Vvou, old chap, j
( : i
HE MIGHT ONCE
Patiently the old gentleman had
been Sitting through the ordeal of
hearing the voice-culture student in
lthe bedroom below practicing with a
but with a talent by no means so"
kindly described. . .
Finally, he creptsoftly- down the
stairs and rapped atthe door of the
J'l Cah-'t come in," -he said, in re
sponse to. an invitation, "'but I sim
ply came to tell you of a friend of
mine-who wquld,, I know, be willing
to ,pay almost any amount of money
.to 'hear you sing."
f', Overwhelmed with joy, the young
jvoman begged the kind old gentle
'mSn to. 'write his friend's name and
address on a piece of paper.
"When he had gone upstairs" she
looked at the slip of paper which he
"had handed back to. her inscribed
AaM neatly folded. It read: "John W..
j ones, Asyium ior tne Dear." ,
QUITE OUT OF STOCK
"No, ma'am," said the girl belli '
the drapery counter; "we've not h:. .
any for a long time."
Then it was that the floorwalker
bristled up and strode angrily to the
spot, "wrath almost oozing out of him.
Glaring freezingiy at the ipoor girl,
he- approached the customer and
bowed low and deep.
"Ma-hadam," he said obsequiously,
"we haye plenty of everything in re
serve. There are other' stock-rooms
on the higher floors of this beautiful
building. We are n'ev-her out of
stock!" , i N . '
The customer and girl both looked
somewhat dazed. There was a break
somewhere in' the chain of circum
stances. 1 .
Then the floorwalker, determined
to settle the question, took another
step in the matterf
"But, madam," he inquired, "pray
may I ask what you were needing!, '
Oh, nothing! came the re; '
from the customer. "I simply ; -marked
to the young lady here th.:
we've, not had any rain lately!"
We Beard a maiden of the period-
conversing with, a youth in a car the
other day Her contribution consistr
ed of one phrase only. We knew she
would come a cropper later on.
"Lovely weather -we are haw-,
"Looks like lasting, too."
"Do you know the skating rink is
"Isn't it jolly?" ,
"Shall we go one afternoon?"
"Oh, let's! How. jolly!"
"How would next Tuesday suit '
"I can't manage this week. I hau
a day off today."
"To attend my aunt's funeral v
"How jolly!" ,