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The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, March 28, 1913, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1913-03-28/ed-1/seq-17/

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THEN SHE HURRIED BACK
. .When Mrs. Mulligatawny arrived
ather holiday haunt, to her dismay
she found that her watch was miss
ing. Thinking that she had probably
dropped it on the thick, soft dining
room carpet, she wired to the maid at
"home: '
,( "Let me know if you find anything
on the carpet in dining room."
A' few days later she received a
:4etterlrom the maid as follows:
Vri "Dear Madam: I was to let you.
mow if I found anything on the din
ng room carpet. This is what Tfound
tils morning? Three champagne
:orks, eighteen cigar-ends, five cigar-3tte.-ends,
.thirty-six burnt "'matches
ind one"pink: satin, slipper."
bo
Gentleman (who has just picked
iip a, dime, to tramp who . claimed
t) But how can -yjoir prove it be-r
pngs to you? Tramp Why,.' guv'nor,
you can see for yerselfc-Tve got a
le in xny pocket!
" DIVIDING THE SPOILS.
JLittle Tommy always had been a
bright lad; but for once he had been
too bright', and, in consequence stood
in the police court to face the charge
of havingstolen half a dollar from
his employer.
However, having secured the ser
vices of a lawyer whom he succeeded
in convincing of his innocence, little
Tommy boldly pleaded: "Jot guilty!"
After the evidence, had been heard,
and the prisoner had firmly declared
that he knew nothing of-, the disap
pearance of the money, the lawyer
spoke at length on the injustice Of the
arrest, pointing put ljbw seriously it
might injure the boy's future .pros
pects, and begging the jury not only
to acquit him, but entirely to exon
erate him.
This the court did.
. Outside the building, the boy askc'i
his counsel what his fee was.
. "How much have you got?" ask:i
the lawyer laughingly.
"Only two cents, I'm afraid," re
plied Tommy: "I spent the rest!"
o o
ALL DEPENDED c
A pompous and long-winded judge,
in the midst of. an unusually long' and
tedious address to the Jury, suddenly
noticed that one of the jurymen had
fallen astep. The indignation of his
lordship was boundless. Rapping
sharply on" his desk, he aroused the
slumberer, who seemed not at all
abashed at being thus caught nap
ping. After scanning him angrily for
a few moments, thejudge, In his most
sarcastic tone, said:,
"So that's the way. you attend to
your duties, is It? Do yoU'. think your
opinion will, be of any valuer when I
send you out to determine the fate
of the prisoner?"
"Yes, sir," the juryman replied
quietly;- 'I think so." '
"Oh, you do, do'you?" said tha' ex
asperated judge. "Pray tell me-, "sir;
how long have you been, sleeping?."
"I don't know!" was the reply:
"How long have you been talking?,''

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