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he- hissed; shaking his fisf after the
The lord chancellor was so upset
by this incident that he cut short his
visit. The return journey ,to London
is, as all know, a very tedious one.
At Chester, just when the old gentle
man had fallen into a doze, the guard
entered the compartment in which
he sat alone.
"Tickets, please!" demanded that
"Eh?" stammered the lord chan
cellor. "Why, I handed in my ticket
"None of that talk!" replied the
guard Toughly. "You'll pay or get
off the train." '
"Why, you, fellow, do you, know
who I am? I am Lord Masterton!"
cried-the 'old gentleman indignantly.
"You don't say!" answered the
guard. "Well, my name's Jones. I
want to marry your ward. Come, lord,
excuse my lit,tle trick and tell me
just why I can't. We love each other,
"Help!" yelled the lord chancellor,
pulling the bell which communicated
with- the engine driver's cab. The
train slowed down, but before the
frightened trainmen could learn the
cause of this summons, Mr. Jones, his
hat and coat stowed away in his suit
case, was seated in his own compart-,
ment, a typical tourist, reading the
On arriving at his destination.liord
Masterton sent a telegram to his
ward, summoning her to his house.
On her arrival he cross-questioned
her with some shrewdness and, dis
covering everything except the mar
riage, he promptly packed her off to -,
a finishing school in Paris.
The lord chancellor's word is law,
and there was no escape, but before
departing, she contrived to have a
moment's interview with Jones.
"You go, honey," he said, hastily
placing himself in contempt again.
"Before -Christmas we'll be sitting
down to the old gentleman's table, as
thick as three peas together." ".
i Mrs. Jones, having implicit confi
dence in her husband, obeyed- him.
And this brings us to the last scene -of
Scene: The House of Lords in au
tumn session: Occasion: The vote
upon the enactment of the tramps'
feeding act. 'If this measure is re
jected; it means "a dissolution of Par
liament; with the possibility of the
Lord Masterton, slumbering peace
fully upon the woolsack, presided
over the decorous debate. Lord Win
terb'ury was upon his feet, urging the
rejection of the measure:
"As I was saying, and as I repeat,
my lord," he said'addressing the un
conscious form upon the woolsack,
"this act means ruin to our farmer,
destruction to our industries, and the
degradation of- our country froiri a
first-class power to a poverty-stricken
waste. I "
"Sit, down!" exclaimed a strident
voice from the woolsack.
The lojd chancellor, hearing these,
words, issued apparently from his
own. hps, opened his eyes and gazed
upon the startled lords.
"I beg your pardon, my lord,'" re
plied the'lord chancellor blandly and
turned a little in his seat to ease his
position. And then, to his horror,-a
voice whispered in his ear. !
"Keep quiet, as you value yourrep-
-utation. My name is Jones: I want
to marry your ward. May I?
The lord chancellor sprang to his
feet, and instantly the debate ceased
automatically. The leader of the op
position, came hurrying up, anxiety
upon his face.
"Your lordship is not feeling well
today?" he asked solicitously.
"Oh; very well," replied Lord Mas
terton, sinking ,back, and the debate
''Don't try that again," hissed the
voice in his ear. "I've got your voice
down pat and I can make you say
anything I choose. I can have you
put into a sanitarium witti half a
dozen words. -Do -yoii get -that, lord?j