Newspaper Page Text
1- " " -
T""jj ( J JliST shot)
' FAR FROM IT
A temperance lecturer displayed to
his audience .two geraniums A The
first, watered in the usual way? was
a beautiful and vigorous plant. But
the other had been dosed with al
coliol, and Its foliage was shrivelled
and sparse, its stem twisted and its
j- ''Now, ladies and gentleman," cried
-the lecturer, "what can you say to
"a demonstration .such as this?"
"It's all right, and if Jwere a gera
nium," said a. shabby man. in the
gallery, "I'd-stick-to water exclusive
ly but I'm not a geranium." .
O O f
There had'been a quarrel between
two Western editors. Rut Smith tmt
She, best of Brown unquestionably
twhen. Brown, who owned a small
fomn Vi-tfi- o WNtln Cmh Ji J'
laiui) uuugut c uiuid hjuAAiu piiuicu
a paragraph about this purchase and
headed it 'Extraordinary, Case- .of
SARCASTIC OR NOT?
Not by any stretch of imagination
could George, be called well-to-do.
Still, he was a bright young fellow,
keen and ambitious. What's more, he
had good prospects, which, by the
way, had been enhanced since his
.employer's niece had promised to
"George," that young lady said to
him one day, "now that we really are
engaged, I do wish you would tell me
exactly how. much money you are
"Of course I will," he replied. "At
present I'm getting $15 a week, but
I'm expecting a raise any day prob
ably a ten-dollar one, tod."
"Oh, George!" - -
And George, delighted with the
look of astonishment on. her face
why, 'she was actually impressed-6y
the magnitude' of his earning power!
laid a hand affectionately on her
shoulder, and: 'Tes, .dearT'he in
quired. "Do do you think people wOkac
cuse me of marrying you for your;
TAKING NO, RISKS
"Heinz! Heinz!" whispered Mrs.
Weinersctinitzel; "wake up! There's
a burglar downstairs. I hear him."
Heinz was out of bed in an instant.
"Hist!" said Heinz. .
Quietly he slipped on his shoes and
trousers .and stole .softly from ttie
room. The minutes sped fast. The -wife,
listening intently,- heard noth
ing. At last anxiety overcame f ear.
The crept; to the stairway, leaned
over the ' balustrade, and called,
"Well, whafis it?"replied her hus-
band's voice. It came not from below,
but from above.
"What on earth," asked Mrs. Wein-
erschnitzel, "are you doing up in the
"Why,"- whispered Heinz, "didn't
you say the burglar was downstairs?