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he hissed,, shaking his fist after the
The lord chancellor was so upset
by this incident that he cut short his
visit. The return journey to London
is, as all know, "a very tedious one.
At Chester, just when the old gentle
man had fallen into a doze, the guard
entered the 'compartment in which
he sat alone. r
".Tickets, please,!" demanded that
"Eh?" stammered the lord chan
cellor. "Why, I handed in my ticket
"None of that talk!" replied the
guard roughly. "You'll pay or get
off the train."
"Why, you, fellow, do you know
who I am? I am Lord Masterton!"
cried the ,old gentleman indignantly.
"You don't' say!" answered the
guard. '.'Well, my name's Jones. I
want to marry your ward. Come, lord,
excuse my little, trick and tell me
just why I can't. We love each other,
"Help!" yelled the lord chancellor,
pulling the bell which communicated
with the engine driver's cab. The
train, slowed down, but before the
frightened .trainmen could :learn the
cause of this summons, Mr. Jones, his
hat and coat stowed away in his, suit
case, was seated in his own compart
ment, a typical tourist; reading the
On arriving at his destination, Lord
Masterton sent a telegram to his
ward, summoning her to his house.
On . her arrival he cross-questioned
her with some shrewdness and,- dis
covering everything except the mar
riage, he promptly packed her off to
a finishing school in Paris.
The lord chancellor's word is law,
and there- was no escape, but before
departing; she contrived to have a
moment's interview with Jones.
"You go, honey," he said, hastily
placing himself in contempt again.
"Before Christmas we'll, be sitting
down to the old gentleman's table,) as ,
thick as- three peas -together."-
"Mrs.. Jones, having implicit confi
dence -in her husband, obeyed him.
'And Jhis. brings us to the'-last' scene
of the drama. , "
(Scene: The House" of Lords in au
tumn session: 'Occasion: The , vote
upon the4 enactment of the tramps'
feeding act. If this measure is re-.
jectedJt means a dissolution of Par
liament, with .-the possibility of the
Lord '.Masterton,. slumbering peace
fully upon the woolsack, presided
over the decorous debate. Lord Win
terbury was' upon, his-feet, urging the
rejection of the measure.,
"As I was saying, 'and. as I repeat, ,
my 'lord," he said, addressing the un-
conscious form upon the woolsack,
"this act means ruin, to 'our farmer,
destruction to our 'industries, andthe
degradation of our country from a
first-class power to a poverty-stricken
"Sit down!" exclaimed a strident
voice-from the woolsack.
The lord chancellor, hearing these -words,
issued apparently n from his
own hps opened his eyes and gazed
upon the startled lords.
"I beg your pardon, my lord," re
plied .the lord; chancellor-blandly, and
turned a little in his seat to" ease Itis
position. And then, to. his horror, a
voice whispered in his ear.
"Keep quiet, as you value your rep
utation. My name is" Jones. I want
to marry your ward. May I?"
The lord chancellor sprang to his
feet, and instantly the debate ceased
automatically. The leader of the op
position came, hurrying' up, anxiety
upon "His face.
' "Your lordship is' not feeling well
today?" he 'asked solicitously. "
"Oh, very- well," replied Lord: Mas
terton, sinking back, and the debate
proceeded. . .
"Don't try that again," hissed the
voice, in his ear. "I've got your voice
down, pat and. I can make you say
"anything I choose. I can have you
put xato a .sanitarium with half' a
dbzen'worfc;Do you-get-that; lord?j