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Newspaper Page Text
. . 7 I
Yjr ALSO KEEP Dt? BASEMErtT
CLEAN. MITOODT ANY UTTER Oa
UTRASrt VtCM IS EASILY COMBUSTIBLe,
PiTIFMriF RIVES OUT
Scene: A Potice Court. So
licitor Dq you know the
Witness Never knew him
S But did you ever see
the prisoner at the bar?.
W Yes, sir; and took a
glass with him once or twice
S Then how long -have
you known this man? "
W From 2ft. up to 5 ft.
10 in. '
- S (petulantly) Stand
. 'W. (cheerfully)-Can't. I
can only stand up or sit
S 9 o
Grace (whispering) What
lovely ghoes your partner's;
got Mary! Mary- (difo)
YesCJnfortunately he shines
at the. wrong end.-
"ITS A WAY THEY HAVE
The colonel remonstrated with hisN
subaltern time after time, but all ia
vain. The latter, in fact, was aborn,
One day, however, just about the
time when he was transferred from
one regiment to another,xhis old col
onel happened to meet the new one,
and gave the latter a word 6f warn
ing. " I
The second colonel, therefore, was
put on his guard; and resolved, by
way of teaching him a lesson, to take
a rise out of his new subordinate.
Only two davs after he had joined
the regiment; the young officer ac
cused, his new colonel from suffering
from corns. . '
"My dear young fejlow, I've never
had a corn in my life," came the re
ply. ."I'll bet you five dollars you've got
three on each foot now," replied the
"nnnfi!" said the colonel. Then,
as the -only way of settling the dis
pute, he took' off his fcoots and sub
mitted his feet fo examination. No
corns could be found; and the colonel
pocketed his "fiver" cheerfully.
Hence, when the two colonels met
neafn a few davs later, he told the
young officer's old commander all
about what naa nappenea.
"Good heavens!" exclaimed that
-valiant warrior. -'And he bet the
twenty dollars that he'd nave your
feet bare before he" had been in your
regiment a week."
'He Saw her sitting in. the dark
corner, and knew that his chance had
come. Noiselessly he stole up be
hind her, apd- almost before she was
aware of his presence he hid kissed
her. "How dare you!" she shrieked,
delighted. "You saucy boy, you!"
"Pardon me," he bluffed, readily,
stepping out inttfthe light," "I thought
you were my sister." "You silly
idiot." she snapped, stepping into the
hghf beside-him, "JUam!"