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rcoo.K aool i haf ear You
A DEAD LOSS. YOU KNOW YOURS
'3 n nnxAKPuuo chok.
FULFILLED TO THE LETTER
Little Willie was sitting in thfe diii
ing room doing his' home lessons,
whilst pa. was in the kitchen'assis.t
ing with the supper. "
"Pa' came the query from the din
ing room, "what's an apprentice?"
VAn apprentice?" said father, gath
ering his thoughts together:. "Oh, one
person who is bound to another by
agreement The one person has, to
teach the other all he can of a trade
qt business, and the other makes
himself as useful as he can in every
. "Oh," remarked Willie hopefully,
"then I expeet you're apprenticed to
ma, ain't you?"
, o o , V
"Bertie," said his mother, "what
would you like to' give your cousin'
Willie for his birthday?" "I know
what I'd like to give, him," answered
Bertie, who had. been bullied, by the
jJl4.erioy,- "but I ain't big enough
" A householder, who had been calk 1
to his door by a knock, discovered a
sluggard gleaning against the jamb.
"Pardon me, sir," began the slug
gard, "but are not the gentleman
who so kindly gave me a cast-off
"Ah," replied the householder,
"now that I bestow a second look on
you, I am persuaded that I am indeed
he.' And, pray, what was the matter
"There was nothing the matter
with it, I am glad to say," returned
the first 'speaker, "exceptthat there
w,as a five-pound note in the upstairs
pocket of the garment."
"Upon my word!" exclaimed the
man of the house, in plea led antici
pation. "You are certainly one of
whom we often read, but whom we
seldom see, except on the stage. Will
you join. me in a glass .of wine? But.
first, of course, you have brougLi
back the waistcoat?"
"Far from it!" replied the sluggard,
in fine scorn. "Instead, I have come
for another waistcoat."
Thus -we see how unfair it is to
judge by appearances alone.
o o I
THE GUVNOR'S CHECK
Recently a certain gentleman's
failing sight at last compelled him to
resort to the aid of spectacles. Ft
bought a pair. These, after repeated
trials before the looking-glass, fail"1
to accommodate themselves with be
coming grace to his facial peculiari
ties. , r
They were neither comfortable nor
decorative, so he sent them back to
the optician for alteration. This oc
curred twice, and still they did not
please the old man.
On the third .attempt the trades
man lost patience, and when he again
delivered the spectacles his boy gave
in this message:
"The guv-nor says, it tney aon,'t nt
this time, the gent had better send his