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Newspaper Page Text
nigger in that -woodpile. Very likely
there's a politician.
How envious Vice President Mar
shall must be! Someone tried to as
sassinate the vice president of China.
When trust newspapers fall out the
people may get a little bit of the
truth about all of 'em.
The other crowd wants to investi
gate the H.-H. crowd. Then the H.
H. orowd demands an investigation of
the other crowd. Each trying to
scare the other. Then mebbe both
will quit and we won't find out how
rotten both of 'em are.
Conning the public is the average
politician favorite outdoor sport.
Hearst has been mentioned for U.
S. senator from New York. Just men
tioned that's all.
Morgan even wanted to boss his
own funeral. And did it But he's
Did you' notice how none of the
trust newspapers could see any news
in Mrs. Medill McCormick's-speech to
the department store girls? Well, Day
Book readers gdtthe news, anyhow.
If you want to get favorable men
tion in Chicago trust newspapers
just refuse to sit at a banquet table
The Tribune may even permit you
to join its Progressive party and hol
ler for Teddy provided you don't
holler too loud for a minimum wage
for women who work for Tribune
Two hundred and 92 years ago,
says a reminiscent historian, an In
dian chief came out of the forest
surrounding what is now Plymouth,
Mass., extended his hand and shout
ed, "Welcome, Englishmen!" What
he shouted when, stripped but full of
religion, and red-eye, he returned to
the forest, no historian has ever re
ported. - -o o
Mrs. Beck What party does your
husband belong to? Mrs. Peck I'm
the, party, .
CHIEF -McWEENY ..MAKES A
- WONDERFUL DISCOVERY n
By golly, Chief McWeeny has done
something besides tell reporters how
he slept on his beat while Banker
Snell was murdered 25 years ago.
He has inspected the manure on aw
horse's leg-and had a hostler fifed.
John J. Hannon, 1145 West Con
gress street, was, until yesterday, a
police hostler. He was stationed in
the central barns, a- dismal basement
hole on the alley between Washing
ton and Randolph and LaSalle and
Last week, Hannon spent most of
his time sitting up with his sick boy.
Sunday he' went down to work, clean
ed up the horses, bedded them, and
went upstairs to wait for his relief.
He fell asleep.
His .dreams were interrupted by a
stuttering cop, who shook him by the'
shoulder and yelled:
"Wake up! Wake up! The chiefs '
"Gwan," said Hannon. "The chief
never comes here." x-
"Sureias death," said the cop, and?
Hannon went downstairs.
There was the chief, sure enough;
an an extremely dignified chief he
was at that minute,tooj
"I -want to inspect your horses," b!e'
"All right, sir," -said Hannon,'
"where will you inspect them? Down
"No, sir," said the chief, 'after a'
few minutes of deep thought; "not
down here. You can't see anything
down here." ,v
This was quite true. Possibly it ,
never occurred to the chief that the5
hostlers had to clean the horses in'J
the dark, .however.
'The'-horses wefe led into the alley.1:
The chief ran his manicured hands"
over them. -1
"What's this?" he asked Hannon,
Hannon looked xat. the speckol