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Newspaper Page Text
manure on the chief's hand, and
knew he was lost.
'I'll file charges agin you," said
the Chief, and walked away.
The chief did file charges, and yes
terday he presented the extraordin
ary spectacle of a chief of police ap
pearing to present charges against a
$62 a month hostler. - ji
"The horses were filthy," said the
chief to the civil service commission.
"The barn is filthy," said Hannon.
"They had. three days' sweat on
them," said the chief..
Possibly the chief -meant this as a
subtle joke. Anyone who ever saw a
mounted cop's horse or a mounted
cop sweat will kindly raisers right
hand. No one?x Thank you.
"There was,", said the chief-in a
hushed, awed tone "manure on them
iThe civil service-commission gasp
ed. Then it fired Hannon, .on
charges of neglect of duty and this
also was the chief's work intoxica
tion. Hannon really ought to think him
self lucky. He 'can, now go out and
get a job under' Bome one who won't
tear off 20 per cent of his wages
? But i as to Chief McWeeny, after
his strenuous accomplishment, he
left the city for an indefinite.period.
Some say he has gone away to get
married; some sayhe's just -resting
UP- ' , .
o o 1
EVERYBODY! HERE'S A TIP HOW.
TO OUST A BURGLAR
New York, April 11 .If a young
woman is suddenly confronted by a
burglar inher room, should she dive
upder the coyfcrs and keep perfectly
quiet, or reach under her" pillow for
a perfectly-useless revolver or-should
shejust sit up in bed and'screamfor;
help? ' . .
She -shouldn't do any of these
things, take it from Miss Susan Wert;i
who knows what she is. talking about.
Miss. Van 'Vyert is a normal school- j
teacher. She was awakened by a bur
glar in her room. Was she scared?
She was not! v
She got rid of the burglar, and here
are her rules, guaranteed to work:
.Tell him he should be ashamed of
Laugh when he tells you not to
Suggest that he ought to be work
Lead him to the doorjand let him
j And perhaps he'll give you back
your money and jewelry.
These rules worked all right, but
Miss Van 'Vy'ert's burglar was cer
tainly'an amateur. He threatened her
life with a steel jimmy, and. when she
told him to behave, began to cry.
He pulled the usual stall about going
west to be honest-and Miss Van Wert
let him keep $13: The rest of the
money and Her jewelry, which he had
put in his pockets, was returned.
Try it yoursejf some night.
IT DECIDES QUICKLY
Pat Av coorse, drivin' a joltin' old
cartfdo not be. as luxurious-like, as
ridin' in a au'tymobile; but for safety
give me th' cart ivery time. You
know what ye kin expect av a cart if
a wheel comes off." "
-A o o
A I thought you were a vegetar-
ianand now I see you eating mutton!
B Well, f am only an Indirect vege
tarian;! eat the meat of such animals
onlyas'.live.bh vegetable food.