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Newspaper Page Text
mi r r .
e " ' 1
i (b0 ARE, ANOTHER OP THOSE
tiOfc INSECT-BRAINED, AUTOMoBlLt
.iYOiPEED MANIACS- WHAT yeo .
( JESERVE A UFB TERM IN Tfffi)
t )i PENITENTIARY. Y50 ARC f I J
I S??? THAN CRIMINAL ip f
WELL CARED FOR
Small of stature, pale and troubled
looking, Johnny was inclined to be
the butt of "his fellow schoolchildren,
who were always teasing and worry
ing him. ' '
"Who's yer doctor?" was a favorite
question from the bullies.
Johnny stood it as lo"hg as he. pos
sibly could, and then one day "he let
go 'hard as" the -usual offensive query
Vas flung at his diminished head.
"I haven't any doctor at all," re
"m'arked the boy, with calm dignity.
"Then you. don't ever take medi
cine?" was-the second question.
"Oh, dont I!" Johnny made reply.
"Father's a dentist, mother's a ho.-
meopathic, my eldest sister's joined
! mad over-every new patent-medicine,
rand uncle's a vet.
Ij "Yes," he added, "with a sad, far
away look in his big brown .eyes, '
WHAT HE WANTED
The barber had been so very .volu
ble and persistent that the bald-headed
little man upon whom he was
operating- had, in sheer desperation,
purchased a 50-cent bottle of his
"hair Instanter"- or "producer." Two
days later the little man rushed into
the shop with a glare in hi3 eye which
made the proprietor rush behind the
"That hair producer," commenced
the little man, in a tone that made
the razors shiver.
"But, sir, you, must have patience,"
interrupted the barber. "Why, it was
only two days ago "
"Patience!" broke in the irate one.
"Great Scot! Tb.ere ain't enough pa
tience in the world to fit my case!
That muddle-headed girl of ours has
mistaken the hair-producer .for fur
"Oh, I see," smiled the barber. "And
you "want another bottle?"
"No, I don't," snapped the bald
headed man". "I want to know how
much you'll charge to shave our new;
It is perhaps not generally recog
nized that certain individuals well
known to the police have their photo
graphs in different positions, and oth
er details of their appearance, duly
noted in the official books.
Scotland Yard was "wanting" a
well-known offender against the law,
and had reason -to suspect that he
might be lurking in a certain provin
cial town. Consequently photographs
of him in six different poses were sent
to the newly-promoted chief of police
of that district.
Nothing more' was heard of the
matter for a few. days, when Scotland
Yard, was electrified, to receive the
an. ambulance class, grandma "goeslfollowing report:
i amy received me portraits oi me j,
six miscreants whose capture is de-"
sired. I, have arrested five of them;'
the sixth is -under observation and
,they all practice' on me!"
will shortly belsecured!"