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The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, April 15, 1913, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1913-04-15/ed-1/seq-17/

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IP-'
CHOSE THE MIDDLE COJURSE
Wrapped around with cotton wool,
with, one arm in a sling and his head
bandaged, the Irish farmer -walked
into the corn exchange of his local
township.
"Why, George," said, a keen sym
pathizer, "how did it all happen, old
cnap.'
The farmer shifted his bandages
:wearily, and obviously prepared him
self to spin a long and rousing-yarn.
"Well," he remarked, .turning over
a straw in his mouth, "it were like
this: We were coming, down the hill
t'other night with the, old mare, and
I see ahead pf me a light on the right
hand side of -the road. I draws over,
and then I sees a light on the left-
hand side.
" 'What be going- to do, father?'
asked my son.
" 'Do?' says I.. 'Why, drive be
tween them, o' course!'
, "An' that's just what 1'diB do, but
hoth t' lights were on- the same
motor! ' '
rr-T.r -its a BEE.! ' ) " v
THE REASON WHY
She was beautifully gowned and
exquisitely coiffured. -r
Every single one of tie passengers
in the 'bus could no't help loving her,
or her little dog, which, gaily berib
boned, nestled under her arm.
But her general air of wealth and
prosperity was not the only reason
which made her a special objectof
curiosity to her f ellow-traveters. She
was fidgety very fidgety.
All along(one fashionable street she
drove the conductor nearly out of his
mind, by continuously asking if they
had got to No. -6 yet.
So that when that house was
actually reached, .the man on. the step
very thankfully indeed, stopped" his
'bus,-and waited'for the fidgety, albeit
charming, lady to descend.
But he was disappointed.
Daintily tripping on and .over
everyone's toes, she reached the door.
Arrived there, she stopped, and lifted
aloft the diminutive animal, -who
barked shrilly in protest.
"There, Fido," she exclaimed, "do
look! .That's where your dear mother
was born?'
, o o-
TIME-SAVING IDEA
He was cashier in a West-endbusi-
ness house, and his fortnight's holi
day had just been ended. As he en
tered the office on Monday morning
his fellow-clerks rose to greet him;
but he held, up his hand for silence,
and before anybody could say a word
he distributed 'among them a num
ber of neatly-printed little cards,
reading thus:
, "Thank you!"
"Yes, I had a splendid time."
"Oh, .walking, fishing, golf and so
forth."
"Yes, had quite a lot of rain." y
"Hard to tear myself away? You
bet!"
"I ought to. I'm feeling-fit as a fid
dle."
And without a word "he started in ,
at his regular work.

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